Stansaid Airport

I wonder where Trump gets his speech ideas from...

I prefer mine with a squeeze of lemon.

Want to see how much things will cost in 2050? Simply shop in an airport WH Smith today.

Looting Airport.

We attempt to, but it will probably end up in Hong Kong.

Love all things Army? We have some great new commorative patches in our gift shop.

People can be so unbelievably kind. A guy collapsed in Departures and the only thing he wanted to do was give me his EpiPen. He was absolutely determined that I have it. I will always treasure it and remember him.

We safely store your most personal things in the cloud*.

*cargo door blew open on the 16:05 to Alicante

Of course.

When I ask my girlfriend how she feels.

If any Americans wonder why people in the U.K. suppress a giggle when 'President Trump' is announced or introduced, here's why...

Day 3 of the war. We've taken the WH Smith in Heathrow's Terminal 3 and are making good ground. Revolutionary armed cashiers surrendered their pricing guns in an early morning ambush. Two of our boys were injured after taking shrapnel from giant Toblerones.

Yes, it started in 1789.

Fact: In the U.K., many Air Traffic Controllers don’t work in airports, but in buildings miles away. Whereas in France, most Air Traffic Controllers don’t work at all.

#Essex

Well that was a fu**ing waste of money getting them done.

I hate to say it, but Trump is right. The world needs wholesale regime change. These backward, neanderthal people need to go. They took what was once a respected, modern country and set it back hundreds of years. A Government that's truly Draconian. Anyway, enough about America.

Shelves! It’s shelves! I knew there was something we’d forgot to order for the new cargo warehouse.

Damn. There’s been a terrible accident in the freight warehouse. A pallet of spices fell on Big Kenny, who then staggered backwards and fell into a vat of cream. He's stable, but in a Korma.

Sniffer dogs have already started.

Trump: 'If Iran retaliate, we will hit them with a force that has never been seen before.'

Iran: *hits back*

Trump: *releases Melania documentary in Iranian cinemas.*

Management have asked for ideas to raise £1.5 billion for a second runway and terminal. Not even a challenge.

Delighted to be launching a book today about the amazing retail experience at the airport.

She has to, it grows back in less than 3 hours.

Pyjamas are formal wear in Essex.

Marvellous. Picture in from Brenda, 42, in Tenerife. Really making the most of the 'dolphin experience.' Lovely to see.