Been saying this. Most of us want the civil war, which is a wild thing to desire.
07.03.2026 18:31
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Been saying this. Most of us want the civil war, which is a wild thing to desire.
And I always like when The Onion does this bit of pretending like some omni-powerful force, a la the Catholic Church in the Middle Ages, in 2013's "‘The Onion’ Vows To Carry On Iran’s Nuclear Weapons Program Until The Job Is Done"
theonion.com/the-onion-vo...
20 years ago, The Onion reimagined John Henry as a man fighting Excel by hand.
What is the 2026 version? Hand-coding vs. OpenClaw?
This and much, much more from 20 years ago today
onion20.substack.com/p/2006-the-o...
I'm looking ahead at my coverage of The Onion from 2006, and this headline feels extremely relevant in today's AI era:
"Modern-Day John Henry Dies Trying To Out-Spreadsheet Excel 11.0"
theonion.com/modern-day-j...
Key contributor!
That background color is weird. It's like Financial Times but much worse
Semafor is surprisngly upfront about being an events and access business that does content as an entry point. In the "hypocrisy is the worst crime" timeline we live in, they're relatively noble compared to the likes of Atlantic, WaPo, Politico, etc.
A newspaper scrap titled "Your Birthday Today" with the following description: A male stripper, hired by your friends after no small amount of girlish giggling, will appear at your birthday party this weekend. Unfortunately, due to outstanding and insurmountable gambling debts, this erotic dancer, with each article of clothing he removes, will expose not only his flesh but also the horrid physical details of his recent encounters with three rather large and persuasive loan sharks.
Fun Easter egg from theonion.com print edition 20 years ago (Feb. 22, 2006) is this special birthday horoscope.
If you only read The Onion online (like me), you never saw this!
I think it’s also the 1st time such a birthday horoscope appeared in print.
20 years ago, The Onion mocked Kobe Bryant and Harrison Ford.
All the web-only jokes from Feb. 22-28, 2006, including some you can't find anywhere else! onion20.substack.com/p/the-onion-... #theonion #satire
Conan O'Brien recently talked about how Nixon apparently watched his show in the earliest months. He really was a TV channel-flipper!
20 years ago, The Onion’s website shared audio of Dick Cheney explaining why he shot that guy — but added cannibalism.
Plus, so much more from The Onion’s web-only content of 20 years ago. onion20.substack.com/p/reviewing-...
This seems shortsighted in so many ways. Gallup's polling is a go-to for my work covering The Onion’s past because of its long history in pinpointing, with reasonably certainty, how the public felt about issues at the time, including the president's performance.
www.cnn.com/2026/02/12/p...
I know NBC wants to fill the air time, but the old guys went 2-0. Why do they need to play again?
20 years ago, The Onion wrote about Hamas and Israel.
Let's revisit the least controversial topic possible. Plus, jokes about the Senate, dolphins, Denny's, podcasts, Millard Fillmore and more. onion20.substack.com/p/february-2... #theonion #satire
20 years ago, The Onion warned of death, romance and Wal-Mart.
What if Donald Rumsfeld hosted an informercial? Plus, jokes about Nancy Grace, Mark-Paul Gosselaar and much more. onion20.substack.com/p/february-2... #theonion #satire
20 years ago this week, The Onion mentioned Roger Federer for the 1st time.
Also, The Onion jokes that e-mail takes up 30% of the workday — 6 years before McKinsey confirmed this!
Much more in this look at The Onion’s web-only jokes from early February 2006.
open.substack.com/pub/onion20/...
also the same folks who expect The Onion to write direct insult headlines rather than actual jokes because nuance is enabling or something
(also, lol at mango mussolini. that feels like such a 2013 weird twitter handle)
20 years ago today, @TheOnion.com imagined a federal Department of Corruption.
Plus, we learn about the dangers of network-TV violence invading our real lives, black boxes for balloons, BlackBerry’s legal troubles, and much more from Feb. 1, 2006!
onion20.substack.com/p/2006-the-o...
20 years ago, The Onion created a Department of Corruption.
Plus, jokes about TV causing violence, Michael J. Fox, Al-Qaeda No. 2s, BlackBerry, rival "dead kid foundations" and the idea of a wife. onion20.substack.com/p/2006-the-o... #theonion #satire
20 years ago, The Onion redesigned its sports section.
Let's look at the web-only jokes from Jan. 25-31, 2006! onion20.substack.com/p/reviewing-... #theonion #satire
The Internet Archive headquarters: a large white neoclassical building with columns, stands on a street corner in San Francisco.
The internet's memory isn’t a cloud—it’s heat, power, and hard drives 🔥💾
Inside the Internet Archive’s trillion-page fight against digital forgetting, from PetaBox servers to legal battles over memory itself ⚙️📚
➡️ hackernoon.com/the-long-now...
#InternetArchive #DigitalPreservation #WebHistory
20 years ago in The Onion, snowmen protested global warming.
Plus, jokes about never retiring, Bush's ag secretary, Ariel Sharon, Fidel Castro, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, zombies and more. onion20.substack.com/p/january-20... #theonion #satire
As many of us await this apparently massive winter storm, it's funny to see that this Onion article turns 20 years old on Sunday.
We'll cover it in the next newsletter. theonion.com/nations-snow...
Welcome to 2006 in The Onion!
20 years ago in @TheOnion.com, Sean Penn was enraged because he couldn't register his name with Gmail.
Plus, jokes about the federal budget deficit, "Call of Duty," "The Most Dangerous Game," Brangelina and more.
onion20.substack.com/p/2006-the-o...
20 years ago in The Onion, Sean Penn raged at Gmail.
Plus, the U.S. holds "going-out-of-business" sale and jokes about "Call of Duty," "The Most Dangerous Game," Brangelina and more. onion20.substack.com/p/2006-the-o... #theonion #satire
20 years ago this week, @TheOnion.com was still on holiday vacation. So they published this review of 2005 in Sports. I’ve included a few images from this issue.
Plus, @avclub.com interviewed Fred Armisen.
What was 2006 like? I'm sharing 50 great jokes that @TheOnion.com published in 2006
Plus, I preview The Onion's redesigned print newspaper and reflect on how American politics, culture and life have changed over the past 20 years. #theonion
onion20.substack.com/p/preview-50...
I know sports announcers aren't journalists, and increasingly employees of the teams ... but the Unrivaled announcers are truly unmatched in their groveling before the league's sponsors.
You'd think Sephora and Samsung owned the league and employed them directly as PR reps.
Preview: 50 great jokes The Onion published in 2006.
The Onion redesigns its print edition! Plus, 2006 kind of sucked? Let's explore what I'll be covering from a year where seemingly everything got worse. onion20.substack.com/p/preview-50... #theonion #satire
20 years ago today, @TheOnion.com published an issue of old stories under the banner “Re-Breaking News.”
Here are a few of the pages from that print issue. #theonion