I remember lockdown feeling a lot like groundhog day. Could not get Andy McDowell to sleep with me
06.03.2026 12:46
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I remember lockdown feeling a lot like groundhog day. Could not get Andy McDowell to sleep with me
Ah yes, Facsimiles, the greek God of twins.
People say there's not enough kindness online but in my experience a lot of people take the time to explain my jokes to me
And these are the guys who coined the phrase “fake news”
I would
Can't believe you'd say this about me
Standup comedy was never the end goal for me, they just make you do it for a few years before they’ll let you make a travel documentary with your dad.
Self image is all about perspective. Has Daniel Beddingfield let himself go? No, Michael Moore’s had a glow up
This is fun, thanks for sharing
Appreciate it Molly
Your name is justified
Do follow me for more nonsense. Thanks for sharing
Thanks Bertie.
I’ve had to keep this under wraps for a while but I can finally announce I am one of the staff writers for the Argus.
There has to be another long term TV producer with the personality of a sponge who can takeover
It’s actually FEWER Misérables
People come at you with useless facts like “A swan can break your arm”. They could have spared me a lot of time and money if they’d also said “A swan can break your heart” :(
You’ve been eating bananas wrong your whole life.
They’re disgusting, don’t eat them.
This is how the war will be won
You can always tell a millennial because we still use a Nokia 3310. As a chopping board.
The thing I find hardest about comedy is finding promoters who are happy for me to work from home
Deliberately spilling coffee and tea all over my screen so my emails look all ‘ye olde’.
No way AI is taking my job as a stand up. Can you imagine a robot standing stock still talking absolute shite?
People slag off bots but they make up over 60% of my 30 followers.
Oh sure, “you’re not supposed to drink WD40”. Then why does it come with a straw?
Why do girls always take the trucks and wheels off their finger skateboards?
Why do girls always take the trucks and wheels off their finger skateboards?
Spent the last decade sorting out my various issues and now I'm addicted to twelve step programmes
One day you'll manage to orchestrate something similar
Last night I opened for Ray O'Leary at the Forge comedy club in Brighton. Loads of fun