Congratulations!!!
06.03.2026 03:25
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Congratulations!!!
A sign reads "Please wait patiently for the failure of the system" with Chinese characters above.
our patience has been rewarded
Well now I need this too!
thinking about transmuting my belief in the resiliency of institutions into uncritical hero worship of a specific dude. might sublimate my entire political ideology into the whims of some guy
Maybe an acceptable excuse in 2012! But now? With Etsy resellers and disintegrating Shein scraps filling the Value Village racks?? With second hand Selkie selling on depop at MAYBE a 15% discount on the ticket price????
Character: ugh the closet I rent in a shared basement apartment has cockroaches. Which would be manageable but they've joined with the rats and unionized.
Me: Bitch you are wearing a 300 dollar sweater
Working retail can really make you incapable of enjoying sitcoms. I've seen too many canonically broke characters wearing 3 new Anthropologie dresses every week
Oh to be clear you will not have the power to answer ALL the emails. We never made such a wild claim
[the inventor of ADHD meds making their pitch] ok imagine: methamphetamine!! that you take so you can answer emails
meme of Bilbo Baggins wanting to keep the ring
When the kitchen in your shared workplace has a really good spoon
Famous image of Caroline Bassette and John Kennedy yelling at each other at a park in NYC
30 years ago today
when I was 15 I met my friend’s mom and I said “wow you look like that lady… the one who got into a screaming fight at the park” because that had been my primary childhood exposure to Caroline Bassette Kennedy. Kelsey’s mom did not realize it was a nice compliment
HER: *puts cherry in mouth and seductively pulls out stem perfectly tied into a knot*
ME: *puts hand in box of Bugles and seductively pulls out bugles perfectly balanced on each finger*
really starting to understand why that old woman left it all behind to go live in a shoe
[on my deathbed] I should have… I should have posted more. I had- [coughs] I had so many takes
This is the wholesome family content I come to this website for
Porn guy: anybody order a pizza? Extra large pepperoni sausage? *tears off shirt to reveal the biggest reddest areolas you’ve ever seen*
the barber does not own your hair. you are well within your rights to take all the clippings with you when you leave
Guess I'm just built different (vestigial tail)
I don’t know which team won the superbowl and frankly I don’t care to know. I will never find out
That’s private
do you think frankenstein’s monster ever took an arm off so he could sleep more comfortably on his side
This one works for sports as well! I think
on the one hand I feel plagued with terrible writer’s block but on the other hand I think anyone for whom jokes are currently flowing like wine should be treated VERY suspiciously
Omg I currently work in museums and this is so accurate it hurts
nobody say Synergy. Synergy is SO 2006
I was offline and missed this but seeing it today made my heart explode, thank you 💕
What’s your favourite Grown-Up Board Meeting word, mine is “modality”
pastel steel and aluminum fridges? With ice cube trays that have that built-in lifter??? You completely whiffed it, you whiffed it
astounding to me how "make America great again" was referring to fascism and NOT classic refrigerators with lazy susan trays in them. Really missed the point with that slogan.