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Jordan

@natfan9

Professional spreadsheet merchant

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25.07.2023
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Latest posts by Jordan @natfan9

Having some of the most thoroughly redacted thoughts of my life.

08.03.2026 00:23 πŸ‘ 4761 πŸ” 1187 πŸ’¬ 120 πŸ“Œ 36

update: Team USA has scored nine consecutive goals since this post

update: scored a 10th while I was writing this post

07.03.2026 17:03 πŸ‘ 219 πŸ” 28 πŸ’¬ 6 πŸ“Œ 2
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07.03.2026 17:05 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
06.03.2026 23:49 πŸ‘ 1131 πŸ” 181 πŸ’¬ 32 πŸ“Œ 7

i don't get it. you can lift at the gym. being a softhanded scribe is like the pinnacle of civilized life, tens of thousands of generations of your ancestors would have murdered to be a softhanded scribe

06.03.2026 19:33 πŸ‘ 1626 πŸ” 161 πŸ’¬ 24 πŸ“Œ 32

a lot of what has made discourse insane is that there's an entire crop of guys who live in dc, do a ton of uppers, and have massive gender insecurity around the fact that they're soft-handed scribes

06.03.2026 19:31 πŸ‘ 2193 πŸ” 267 πŸ’¬ 18 πŸ“Œ 33

We don’t talk enough about how morally depraved the tech industry turned out to be. Every single ounce of their self-regarding statements of values was an outright lie.

07.03.2026 05:03 πŸ‘ 5784 πŸ” 1227 πŸ’¬ 125 πŸ“Œ 96
Preview
Trump blocks FBI terror threat alert linked to Iran war Top Trump officials ordered it placed on hold over concerns that it could show the domestic risk of the war and further erode public support.

Why the fuck are we only hearing about this from a ridiculous British tabloid?

07.03.2026 13:27 πŸ‘ 183 πŸ” 80 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 5

The way this works is that the U.S. now has to put troops on the ground, invade, overthrow the Iranian government and then nation-build OR Iran is going to withstand this aerial barrage and come back stronger.

That's the position these idiots have put us in. They've endangered the whole world.

07.03.2026 03:22 πŸ‘ 193 πŸ” 52 πŸ’¬ 8 πŸ“Œ 7

All the wrong people have imposter syndrome.

07.03.2026 03:01 πŸ‘ 2007 πŸ” 384 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 44

What pisses me off more than I'd like to admit is that Hegseth is too stupid/drunk/both to realize just how pathetic and weak he sounds when he thinks he's being cool and badass. It's not fair. There should be like a drug we could give him to make him self-aware and cringe until he shits himself.

07.03.2026 03:00 πŸ‘ 1425 πŸ” 194 πŸ’¬ 35 πŸ“Œ 11

Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs

06.03.2026 19:47 πŸ‘ 29886 πŸ” 7386 πŸ’¬ 225 πŸ“Œ 236

trump is taking political hits on iran is because he is now undermining his supporters' ability to win online arguments. you can just own them ruthlessly on the iran thing now for being dumdums. and this they cannot bear. they can tolerate any amount of murder and mayhem, but not being owned online

06.03.2026 19:15 πŸ‘ 1826 πŸ” 281 πŸ’¬ 14 πŸ“Œ 6
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american century of humiliation incoming

06.03.2026 17:39 πŸ‘ 2488 πŸ” 278 πŸ’¬ 67 πŸ“Œ 62
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it's like these people didn't have group chats smh

06.03.2026 19:05 πŸ‘ 696 πŸ” 37 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 3
"I feel liberated," said a top banker. "We can say 'retard' and 'pussy' withtout the fear of getting cancelled... its a new dawn"

"I feel liberated," said a top banker. "We can say 'retard' and 'pussy' withtout the fear of getting cancelled... its a new dawn"

We should never ever forget why they did it

06.03.2026 16:11 πŸ‘ 3818 πŸ” 791 πŸ’¬ 44 πŸ“Œ 53

This was supposed to be THE year for soccer in the US to explode in growth and it's looking like itll actually go backward because a combo of greed and incompetence

06.03.2026 16:24 πŸ‘ 54 πŸ” 14 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
06.03.2026 16:28 πŸ‘ 5397 πŸ” 1196 πŸ’¬ 28 πŸ“Œ 22

Let’s goo

06.03.2026 16:01 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

So just to be clear the FA rule is that Emi Martinez is strictly forbidden from promoting betting companies except for every time he puts on an Aston Villa shirt

06.03.2026 15:57 πŸ‘ 216 πŸ” 51 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 2
β€œEvangelicals are missing from the halls of power. That’s a problem.
The lack of evangelical Christians at America’s most prestigious institutions fuels mistrust.”

Excerpt From
β€œOpinion | Evangelicals are missing from the halls of power. That’s a problem.”
Aaron M. Renn
The Washington Post
https://apple.news/ATJF-eGWhQMuuXvLnrj0ugQ
This material may be protected by copyright.

β€œEvangelicals are missing from the halls of power. That’s a problem. The lack of evangelical Christians at America’s most prestigious institutions fuels mistrust.” Excerpt From β€œOpinion | Evangelicals are missing from the halls of power. That’s a problem.” Aaron M. Renn The Washington Post https://apple.news/ATJF-eGWhQMuuXvLnrj0ugQ This material may be protected by copyright.

Congratulations, WaPo, you did it, you published the worst take

06.03.2026 13:46 πŸ‘ 5863 πŸ” 996 πŸ’¬ 271 πŸ“Œ 429

""Yo brother, legal team confirmed that we can't work with minors rn," a Kalshi employee wrote to the user in messages reviewed by the Journal. "Kinda sad tbh."" im losing my mind

06.03.2026 13:28 πŸ‘ 402 πŸ” 88 πŸ’¬ 16 πŸ“Œ 3

1967 - Dystopian Sci-fi novel, Don’t Create The Torment Nexus published

1974 - Cult classic BBC mini series

1997 - BBC remake

2002 - Hollywood movie, upbeat ending added

2019 - Nexcon - A Torment Company IPO’s, $324 Billion market cap

2026 - Polymarket bets on who will be tormented next

06.03.2026 08:41 πŸ‘ 1784 πŸ” 489 πŸ’¬ 11 πŸ“Œ 8

26,962 regular-season minutes and another 3,364 in the playoffs. More than 30,000 minutes - hard minutes - in service of this club. This one stings, regardless of the callous "asset management" aspect of it.

06.03.2026 11:59 πŸ‘ 42 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 3

What the fuck

06.03.2026 12:13 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

This is one of those things that is less sexy to talk about but is unequivocally a war crime

05.03.2026 22:55 πŸ‘ 1242 πŸ” 313 πŸ’¬ 17 πŸ“Œ 1

PEPFAR, the program to stop hundreds of thousands of children and adults from dying of HIV/AIDS, was $6.5 billion a year.

05.03.2026 02:45 πŸ‘ 3037 πŸ” 1115 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 20

never, ever, ever, ever accept "how will you pay for it?" as an argument against social programs.

04.03.2026 20:50 πŸ‘ 7181 πŸ” 2608 πŸ’¬ 20 πŸ“Œ 36