Snip from an eBay listing: Item description from the seller Why would I need an AI to write this?. Good grief.
I don't need a controller, but might buy it just for the description. Honestly, browsing eBay recently is horrid
A Guardian article headline "Morrissey cancels Valencia concert..." Above, a picture of Morrissey with short silver hair with a tiny quiff. He's holding a microphone in one hand and the stand in another. He's wearing a black shirt unbuttoned a little too much He looks just like Greg Davies
Actual Greg Davies Mid routine, black shirt, microphone in hand
Every time someone posts this article
I can turn my hand to anything remotely and don't expect anything in return.
I'm currently self employed part time and loving it, I just want to focus the other part of my time on some fun, cool stuff people are doing.
You know where I am
If you have a project/space/event/blog/whatever and would like someone along for the ride to help with *stuff*, I am available.
I'm a Project Manager for many years, excellent with spreadsheets, organisation, data entry, grunt work.
More importantly I have a bit of *time* available *for free*
Comedy pals! With *projects*!
I am interested in helping with your *admin*
I know my echo chamber, right, you're all champions at it, you don't need help.
But I have a bit of time on my hands at the moment and would love to get some meaningful, fun, experience
(I have free time and I'm FOC)
Ah, silver linings I guess. Yeah I'm at the very other scale of it, looking round beat up cars with the guy in front of me pretending he doesn't hear the absolutely horrid noise the car is very clearly making
Buying cars is one of the most infuriating processes I've ever been involved in. I'm trying to find one now and it is tearing out my soul
Something, something Adele, set fire to the rain, or something.
Glad it's sorted though really
When I was younger, in primary school, I could just about reach both ends of a meter stick with my arms as wide as possible.
In my head, my arms will always be a meter wide and I regularly, vastly, underestimate spaces because of it
Dishwasher advert:
"Our super silent NASA technology is so super silent you'll think you left it in space. Put your baby in and they won't wake up. So quiet we've put a light to shine on the floor to tell you it's on"
Dishwasher:
SPLUURRRRCLUURRWHHUURRRRRSSPLLURRR
I DAZZLE YOU AT NIGHT NOW AS WELL
The perfect sort, easy travel, home at a sensible time, food after, yes please
Public toilet soap dispenser roulette.
Win = soap
Lose = share bacteria with hundreds if not thousands of the unsoaped masses
Followed by an absolute belter of a proper pen
Oofft, love to see a panenka saved
#TheFootball
It has taken me way too long to try to figure out what word 'Contiversary' was a typo of before realising
I got caught out by an AI phone receptionist today. I am ashamed, and sorry, it won't happen again
Back on my (Substack) bullshit. Writing is good mentally. This one's Leicester Comedy Festival.
I have mixed experiences. Great festival, sure. Although, a comedian stole my picture taken here for their banner, no credit, acknowledgement - I am in NO WAY bitter.
open.substack.com/pub/siturner...
I've just seen the latest comedian with 'questionable views on X', they've been long off my radar
The only time I've ever seen them was a mixed bill where they tried and tried and tried to start a standing ovation for themselves, it was bad, I don't think it was a 'bit'. No memory of the set itself
A football match with the score in the top left of the screen (correctly). The subtitles are inexplicably also placed in the top left, covering the score and the time
As long as it's a joint campaign to sort subtitles out as well
The idea of supporting Chelsea over an upset is crazy, and yet here we are
James Vowles is consistently the most underrated 'content' in any Drive to Survive season
Hate* to be that guy, but I've just cut the grass in shorts
*absolutely bloody love it
I don't understand how cars are so rigorously tested to within an inch of their life for safety, across multiple global standards.
And yet this 2 tonne box of metal lets me hear both sides of your conversation with auntie Carol through the fully shut doors and windows with exceptional clarity.
It's the Live Nation monopoly. It's impossible to tour an arena size show without them.
I've simply stopped going to the big artists myself (and comedians). Local venues and festivals are the way
I'm just waiting for a call can you let me know when I get one
My phone: got it, all noises activated
No no, just this next call
Phone: emails, FULL VOLUME
*Sigh* can you at least set it back for me in an hour?
PHONE GO CLICKY FOR EVERYTHING NOW
No, you're right, silly me. When I said sort low to high, what I actually wanted to see first were some more expensive, irrelevant, sponsored items
Shopping sites that don't reset the sorting each time I change a filter, I like you guys.
Shopping sites that default the sort to "price: low to high" when I first go on, absolute bffs
I don't think I've ever phoned up a company to find out their opening hours, it certainly shouldn't be the first option on any phone system
I find the amount of gambling adverts in football absolutely insane, but I get it, money.
I find it even worse that Sky's coverage is sponsored by the British Army
This is your Sunday reminder to turn on MFA on any account you can when you see it, lest you be locked out of your worlds forever
