haro on the phone to his child (who is in fourth grade)

(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

True Art

The muppet's christmas carol meme, revealing it's Kieron goes on about beorn's origin being tom bombadil fucking a bear" day.

It comes around quicker every year.

Nancy 3/4/26 💅

2026 nuclear family meme— featuring Fritzi as Neurodivergent Aunt, Sluggo as Sluggo, Nancy as Daughter, Nancy Jr as Woke Dog

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

I am overjoyed to see that this picture is still exactly where I left it on the internet and nobody has noticed.

Title: "Unprepared for a Regrettable Luncheon! (With apologies to Kelly)" In the visual style of famed The Onion cartoonist Stan Kelly, Superintendent Chalmers is having lunch with Principal Skinner, who is menacingly placing a tray of hamburgers and fries upon the table, which greatly upsets Chalmers. Beneath one of the hamburgers is a wrapper bearing the text "Obviously grilled fast food". Chalmers [labelled as "Disappointed guests"]: "B-but... I thought we were having steamed CLAMS!!" Skinner [labelled as "Isometric exercising* odd fellows" - the asterisk refers to a footnote reading "Latest fad"]: "Oh, no, I made STEAMED HAMS™®! ©1996 Skinner family All rights reserved" From within the clouds of smoke billowing from Skinner's kitchen (wherein an American flag can be seen burning) three heavenly beings gaze upon the scene disapprovingly: A pig labelled "Actual hams", Krusty the clown, labelled "Hard-working patent-holders", and a teenaged fry-cook labelled "Ignored sandwich artists". Lady Liberty peeks in the door and sheds a sad tear at this woeful scene. Kelly's obligatory artist cameo has him disgruntledly commenting "Seymour-a bore-e-malice."

Steamed Hams but it's a Kelly comic

(Yup that's right I still make "Steamed Hams but..." memes)
#simpsons #kelly #steamedhams

women will go to a hangout with a guy and things will be going well until the girl casually mentions she finished this book and he'll go home and start posting stuff like "Our future is ruined because of wokeness and women with fake degrees" meanwhile the girl went home to play video games with a bunch of weird discord transsexuals and she named her character "beegirl" and she keeps saying stuff like "i'm beegirl" and the discord transsexuals ask what kind of bee and she talks about carpenter bees for 10 minutes and everyone loves it and learns a lot

I'm surprised he hasn't already

the thing about the "fire starters are chinese zodiac animals" thing is cyndaquil is in no way a rat so it's always been wrong

(now there's a fire dog starter pokemon) if you think about it fennekin is a kind of horse,

Matter-Eater Lad: Do I make you uncomfortable? You seem…uncomfortable. Lightning Lad: You eat literally everything. What if you wake up in the mood for ginger beefcake? MEL: That’s silly. I can eat literally anything. You should be worried about people who can only eat meat instead of someone who can snack on, like, metal. Sun Boy: Hey, have you guys seen Ferro Lad? MEL: Don’t worry about it!

one time i made a throwaway joke about a german pokemon region with a dog starter named hechenpupper so i got like 50% of the way there

Sound Type confirmed

we popping the biggest bottles when pokemon conquest 2 happens in an hour

Rebecca Ferguson (Mission Impossible actress) @rebeccaferguson.com This is actress Rebecca Ferguson, the real one and not a scam. Accept my private message request. why on earth would you message me if you were real I need you to watch my movies. the scam is just messaging individual people to watch rebecca ferguson movies? I have been a fan of yours ever since I read a post about how you sneezed so hard the yellow acorn flew off your penis shaft. In Dune 2 I played the powerful mother of a thin desert boy.

"Bluesky doesn't have the juice."
"Real media access is still only on Twitter."
"No one important uses or will ever use this site."

Skill issue. If you post good, the right people will figure out how to get in touch with you.

you're so real for this

Image of three versions of the same guy shrugging and teeth, with text “When they ask what you want their teeth for” and “idk I just want teeth” “it’s for an art project” “don’t ask questions”

tumblr post by ewaneneollav Finally listened to all music! My favorite song was an untitled file called "ssssddsdrt66677888.ogg" that I found on a flash drive that I found in a landfill in Tunisia

took me ages to find this post because I kept finding a much less funny (imo) version from 4 years later instead

Just remembered I got really stoned and made exactly one TikTok video over a year ago and then never logged in again lol

I've always said this

Nancy 2/22/26… 🪱WOIMS🪱

Text message exchange: Sender: Look, I get it. You're worried that I'm not being upfront with you. That's not just suspicion — that's your high level survival instincts at work. However, I really am your grandpa and I really do need you to come down to the basement. Receiver: my grandpa is dead. Sender: I genuinely understand, trust me. Your grandpa (me) claiming he's suddenly rebooted is a specific kind of chaos you didn't ask for.

I should change my number

A little Catman sketch I drew on a blank cover from @gailsimone.bsky.social 's legendary Secret Six run

A screenshot of a text box from Star Trek Voyager: Across the Unknown. Kathryn Janeway: Follow them! We'll get Tuvok's lungs back.

This is what gaming is all about

An incredibly lifelike illustration of Paddington Bear, official psychopomp to the British royal family, gently escorting a man in top hat and tails (carrying a Puzza Express takeout) to Belmarsh

Ok I have far too much to do today to spend more than 2 minutes on this but here’s my political cartoon of the day, please enjoy

is that good