I hope that my miserable life ends soon if I can't end it myself. I'm sorry to everybody that's followed or known me for this. I thought for sure that the misery was finally about to end but I was mistaken. Don't blame yourselves, not everyone can be saved.
Everyone that hurt me has won, I give up on everything. Any will to live I had left has disappeared. My future holds no light whatsoever. I'm likely going to be spending the rest of my days going to bed hoping that I die in my sleep since I can't find my rifle anywhere.
As I said above, this is the final straw.
I see now that I’m destined only for pain, loneliness, and despair. The universe simply will stop at nothing to ensure I am not happy and thriving. Life truly is a bad thing and not for me after all. I have been defeated.
family threw me in and creating a good happy life for myself being stripped from me, and losing my chance yet again to attend the 1 con that hasn't dropped in quality, has the friendliest furs and the most people I love and trust going for me to fully see that now.
a past bully last Christmas that the rest of the fandom seems to let get away with everything cause he's a hot daddy type, being unfairly booted from 2 groups as a result, potentially losing someone I greatly admired and clicked with last month, my 1 hope of escaping the hole my
I now see the writing on the wall. What I had feared all along. The universe, life, God, whatever you call it, is a living entity that is out to harm me, only building me up to knock me down right when it looks like things will finally be good. It only took a run-in with
Even if I get it, I don't know if I'll have a good life at all since I'll only have enough to escape here. After all the hurt and despair of my life, the shitty hand I was dealt, and the hopes things would change all being dashed, especially this big one I had since last fall,
of what I was originally supposed to get. And I don't know if I'll be getting it at all because my grandfather seems to have ghosted me. My only hope of healing and making more true connections and of getting out of this bad place my family's betrayal left me since 2019 is gone.
I'm highly doubting the answer is yes, especially with how increasingly busy, hard to reach, closed off, antisocial and cliquey the fandom is becoming. On top of that, I found out last week that the amount of money I'd be getting to get out of this mess has been reduced to a 6th
How am I ever going to see them again? Will I ever see them again? And will we be able to have as much fun as we would have? Will they let me see them outside of cons? Will I ever feel the long warm tender embrace of my otter friend again? Or dance with my AWD friend again?
My best chance to build true connections with the people that mattered is gone. I may be growing sick of cons due to many of them being too big, busy, and chaotic but NFC was different, and now it's out of the equation. I know the con isn't going away but what about the people?
we clicked well enough, people that truly understand what being a furry is about when so many here in the americas have forgotten that, people I vibed and shared a lot in common with and could do the things I wanted to do with, all of that has now been extinguished.
My one chance to truly heal from all the pain from last year, to see and have great experiences with the fandom's best people, a lot of which likely aren't possible to see outside of cons, people I haven't seen since my last NFC and some of which I considered trying to date if
It's with great sadness I have to announce that I will not be making it to NFC. Due to the mortgage company's incompetence not paying us what we're owed in time, which was supposed to be this week. I was so sure I could make it this time but now I can't. This is the final straw.
Was a pleasure getting you pregnant in that vid 😈
I was the jaguar breeding him in this vid 😌
Whenever I get my claws on you you'll get so many poundings, I promise
Good boy! Here's your treat and belly rubs!
Sit and roll over 😁
Gonna have to prove to me your a good boy if you want it 😏
I know for sure this will be my year as I'm moving out to much better places, having half my dreams fulfilled just by getting there and will start my journey on the other half. Streaming included in those dreams 👀
Been really neglecting my bluesky but let's start off the new year by showing you one of best beans I met at #MFF2025. The one and only @snowyfluff.bsky.social! Watched this dog stream before, he seemed like a sweetie and my God he ended up being incredibly such in person too 🥹
Thanks for letting me take this pic!
Prettier than any Christmas tree I've ever seen. What a hot wolf you are
*naughty urinal
Intended to do this ever since I got back from AC this year and I feel now it's a good time. As of right now I'm distancing myself from the fandom. If your wondering why, I wrote this to try and explain why www.furaffinity.net/journal/1126...
Alpacacon when? 🦙
All the green compliments both your colors too 🌳
I don't approve of how downhill it's gone the past years but it's something I can't live without and have to stay and fight to help return to it's glory days
Rest of it is unnerving af though 😨
