Hayley Centimetres

Not suss

Boooooooooooooo this is VERY RUDE of the universe! Big hugs and love to you Hieu (also I am BANNING MYSELF from making any “rare bespoke tumours” jokes unless you are feeling up to morbid humour)

*press conference, journalist raises hand* so first game out the Dogs have beaten the reigning premiers in a nail-biter, how does this auger for the rest of the season
Me: well you don’t want to get too ahead of things but *unhinges jaw, engulfs the microphone* WE’RE WINNING IT ALL BONTEMBER 2026

Oh BITTERS I’m so so sorry. Winnie was such a delightful loaf, a joy upon the timeline, thank you so much for sharing her with us 💜💜

Very excited for James this is both a great car movie and a great guys being dudes movie

Footy is back but at what cost, Brad Close is out there running around in short sleeves, we never should have allowed the code to flourish in Queensland

Yes yes do it I see no downsides

*wells up with tears* America can still be so beautiful

I’d let a pigeon do anything they wanted tbh I really love pigeons

dear lord why

I did contemplate for a hot second buying a McLaren hat but being the papaya team everything was an unforgiving shade of orange

oh S H I T

Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, nothing particular to interest me on shore, and Isaac Chotiner pursuing me for an interview, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world.

The absolute highlight of my grand prix experience

(If you are a F1 or public transport nerd and would like to see the activation and we are connected on another platform where DMs actually work for me unlike on this one, let me know there)

Anyway a wild thing happening today is that I’m currently on my way to the grand prix for work cos we have a “yay public transport” activation there and I’m likely to spend the whole afternoon going “truly I could not have ever foreseen this” as things vroom by

I am going to go to South Gippsland in April when I am funemployed and I am EXCITED AND RELIEVED about it

The fact that so much of the Australian reporting on the war is “oH nO buT wHaT aBoUt aUsSie tRAveLLerS” does reveal us as fucken navel-gazing galoots but also frankly there’s too many of us trampling around out there STAY HOME

I mean the past year, 18 months? I’ve really gone from someone who loves to travel to someone who’s like you know what this continent is fine I am fine staying here

FUCKEN RIGHT??!?!!?!?!!!

Can’t say I’m looking at the news going “you know what I am going to take myself over the other side of the world away from everyone I love in the middle of a war, gas and travel crisis, to Terf Island, that’s where all my dreams will be made”

Was checking LinkedIn (already a grave mistake but I’m unemployed again at the end of the month so got to make the sacrifice) and saw two different posts of people announcing that they were moving to London and just, WHY, have you become unmoored in time and think it’s 2006??

A full trashcan for every corner! This is a future we can believe in! 🦝🦝🦝

OH HELL YEAH

EXACTLY! Particularly for volunteer fire services. Seed it while we’re young!

This is culture

Just got to tell a colleague about how if you grew up in a CFA area every Sunday before Xmas a fire truck would drive around the neighbourhood with a Santa on the back chucking bags of potato chips at every kid

Paul Williams holds a cigarette and sings into a microphone while in costume for BATTLE FOR THE PLANET OF THE APES on an episode of The Tonight Show in 1973.

Me every day this year.

Oh it is Big Red here right now

I reckon it’s just really essential, especially given we are in fascism, to surround yourself with stuff that is going to keep you in the fight for the long haul, whether it’s tangible action, local and online community, hobbies, passions, people you love etc. Fucken pundits and doom merchants, OUT