H.M. Stiller

Scientists recently combined DNA of a cheetah with the DNA of a crab.

It went sideways real fast.

Most accurate portrait of modern culture currently available

Every election cycle, American voters are asked to perform the political version of bowel surgery. It can be messy, slimy work, but the person who recoils and says, "Eww, I don't want to operate or tell one organ from another! It's all too gross!" is just leaving the patient to die

WW3 could be starting and I'd be like, USE THE ACTIVE VOICE!

I've been trying to tell people that, at 39, I've entered my Jack Benny Era, but no one understands. 😭

Governor candidate says every Waffle House in Florida banned his campaign Republican gubernatorial candidate James Fishback announced that his campaign has been banned from every Waffle House in the state.

Waffle House remains open in hurricanes, tornadoes, and flooding, not to mention its share of hair-pulling, table-smashing donnybrooks.

But a Groyper politician is, quite rightly, a bridge too far.

cbs12.com/news/florida...

Grammarly declined my request to interview CEO Shishir Mehrotra today. But it told me that in response to criticisms, it will allow experts to opt out of the feature by emailing expertoptout@superhuman.com. The company gave me this statement over email: We’ve heard the feedback about this tool and appreciate the engagement from those who have taken the time to raise thoughtful questions about the functionality and the experts surfaced. We agree that the product experience can be improved for both users and experts. The agent was designed to help users discover influential perspectives and scholarship that add value to their work. We want the people behind those perspectives to have greater control over whether their name is used, while providing new ways for influential voices to reach new audiences. Our goal is to improve Expert Review to deliver this outcome.

NEWS: Grammarly tells me it will let "experts" like me opt out of having their names used against their will and for no compensation as part of its "expert review" feature www.platformer.news/grammarly-ex...

JOEL

Aladdin: 🎶I can show you the world...🎶
Jasmine: (sighs dreamily)
Aladdin: 🎶Hardwood, laminate, vinyl...🎶
Jasmine: What.
Aladdin: 🎶"If you tell me your price range...🎶
Jasmine: So you're just a floor salesman?
Aladdin: 🎶...we can let your heart decide..."🎶
Jasmine: (storms off in disgust)

Opinion | Your salted caramel mocha latte is destroying society Edmund Burke would have had thoughts about the consumption of that vanilla sweet cream nitro cold brew.

A small-government conservative is here to tell us that lattes are bourgeois decadence that erode the morals of the collective.
www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...

Bluesky users: why aren't journalists covering this!?

Also bluesky users: follow this news influencer who steals from journalists, shares others
work as if it was their own, never credits sources or posts links, cant be arsed with alt text, and dont forget to subscribe to their patreon

remember when the IRS put out a a free online tax filing system where you could just do your taxes through the IRS and it was actually well made and was pretty well recieved and then the tax filing industry and Republicans killed it and now you have to use TurboTax again

The Manhorhaven Town Beach in, you guessed it, March.

I have managed to take a very March picture.

He's a serious journalist, but the name "Steve Lemongello" will always make me giggle.

"Internal violent ousting" sure is a way to effectively suck out all the appeal and romance of the term "revolution." 😂

CNN has a solid, well-funded newsroom, regardless of the network’s editorial slant. a lot of good reporters will lose their jobs, and the public will lose all the stories they would’ve reported. and they are one of the last newsrooms to pay for costly but critical on the ground war correspondents.

You're not getting the full effect of the song without the "ribbit, ribbit."

the issue with saying "Israel caused the US to join the war" isn't just that it's a major oversimplification of Bibi encouraging Trump to do something Trump has wanted to do since 1980. It is also a direct step towards "the Jews wanted the war," something I've already seen alleged leftists posting.

Ooooo now we can save drafts!

You have NO IDEA how full my drafts folder will be of half-baked hot takes. Just a boxcar full of little radioactive nuggets. 😂

When a fellow on Facebook who considered himself Very Clever called attempts to persuade him to vote for Hillary "mental rape."

Cookie, a black cat, with his beloved plush carrot

Welp, assuming I ever was the most important thing in his life, I can see I have been replaced by Large Carrot.

St. Mungo only pawn in game of life

HE SHALL BE LEVON (Honkers)

Nat King Coldseatemperatures, Ray Checksandbalances

Well, both the War on Terror and the growth of online data collection with no meaningful objection from Congress has conditioned us to accept it—or at least not know how to resist.

I think it's not coincidental that these quasi-puritanical reactions happened following technological advances that made many more kinds of images available to many more people.

Not that it's obvious or an expression of naked self-interest on my part, but they still exist!

It's both silly and a great demonstration of why the silliness happened.

Ask a fish to explain water.

“Please depress button” you’re a terrible button. Your mother wanted a lever. No one will ever push you. The signage explaining you is confusing