Gabriel Clermont

Screenshot from a group text where someone sent a Google Gemini AI screenshot with the heading "Iran Strikes Market Impact" - The philosophical question of "Regime Change from Within" is the pivot point for the entire global economy in 2026. If the Iranian people can successfully transition their government, we aren't just looking at a "Buy the Dip" moment-we're looking at a generational investment opportunity similar to the fall of the Berlin Wall.

things you are forced to see in 2026 groupchats

It’s a brooch that looks like goatse. Tbh, I feel kinda bad cuz I explained to this woman that her brooch looks like an early internet fetish porn photo that was huge on the internet in the early 2000s and she was distressed because she inherited it and it’s been in her family for generations but at the end of the day it’s just a brooch that looks like goatse, I’m sorry.

wild brooch

Seeing the restoration Wednesday in 4K, no idea what it will do to my psyche.

A screenshot of that fucking video of AOC millenial-y frolicking across a Boston University rooftop with BOSTON UNIVERSITY emblazoned across her chest.

Please don't make this mistake again.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??

“Non Contact”

If it’s an Achilles, he’s not back to full Tatum until 2026/27? Genuinely huge injury.

This probably counts twice tho I guess, sigh

This shouldn’t count

A guy just asked the bartender where he recommended eating around here. Man looked him in the eyes and said “there’s a Burger King 30 seconds that way.” Might as well have told him to go jump off a jet bridge.

Now at a packed Fort Lauderdale International Airport sports bar.
Vibes are rancid. Don’t know what I expected, but certainly not this.

Watching in dismay as my carefully orchestrated family Christmas Day Babygirl plans slip through my fingers, smh.

This is … so bad