Lizzy

Franks brewing co honey habanero beer can and a mug with a foamy head

Spicy head without being cloying nor a bitter aftertaste?

I should call her

I'm in the process of moving and packing so it's really bad timing 🥴

Yeah. I drank your milkshake. Now what tough guy?

I asked God why he hates me and he answered: “you’re too powerful, my child,” he said to me

It's new music Friday, so Spotify made me a playlist "Roasting" what I've listened to most the last 6 months. Yeah I don't get it either. Anyway it's pretty good lol

open.spotify.com/playlist/37i...

I hate people who act like they're smarter than me just because they went to a fancy college and have a higher IQ and are gooder at thinkings.

Harry Styles sounds like a made-up name that Big Foot would use to sneak into a fashion show.

i only use chatGPT for legal and medical advice

This can't be the same brain that knew all the channel numbers

socrates: the unexamined life is not worth living
me, examining life: well this sucks

I am, a little 🙏

To fuck with coworkers I take a handful of rabbit droppings to work every day to drop in the toilet bowl and then leave it unflushed.

Choose a word. Think of it. Keep it to yourself, noone cares.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?

me when i’m yeah

Who among us doesn't want bolder brows?

Please, my masculinity, it’s very fragile

Don't even get me started on that slut Mr. Clean.

And then - just like that - the cat decided he would never again eat in the area he's been fed in for five years.

😘 indeed

i got a new toothbrush and it says "not tested on animals" on the box. i fuckin hope not. i gotta put that in my mouth

It's like my 3rd grandma always said, "Never run out of things to fuck you over."

If I had Wanda's powers and could rewrite reality, I'd probably just do something silly like interchange the colors red and green. That and destroy the world, of course.

ily so bad 😂🤍🤗

how I feel when someone blocks me

it works tho... she gets me 🤭💀

Btw I'm not dying just high on cold meds lol

Ilysm 🤍😂 thanks for making me laugh and being you