Dave Tooley-Boys

When you see headlines like this, there’s still a long way to go… “A man’s mum”!?!

“Sue Barker and Eamon Holmes host an all celebrity car park spectacular…?”

While he slowly falls apart let’s hope he doesn’t take the world with him.

It’s as though they’ve all just walked off the set of a cheesy 80’s action b-movie.

Sometimes you do have to spell it out for people…

He’s running out of things to distract from the Epstein files.

Have you got the lowdown on what the tooth fairy thinks about all this?

'I didn't grow up wanting to be a politician, I'm a plumber'

The green Party's Hannah Spencer has won the Gorton and Denton, with Reform in second and Labour finished third

Why do they all look like they’re auditioning for the role of village idiot?

Screen shot from Paul Embery’s X account: Respect to this police officer. Confronted by radicals demanding the arrest of a Christian preacher on the grounds that Whitechapel "is a Muslim area" she was calm and professional and gave them short shrift. Let's see more of this from the police. Has a video of a woman police officer talking to a group of Muslim men

This clip is all over the other place and has made its way onto GB News and Talk TV so I’ll do a bit of an explainer here too!

The clip doing the rounds is of a fantastic police officer telling a group of Muslim men that a Christian preacher nearby is entitled to freedom of expression.

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1/19

I had it down as one big long FUUUUUUUCCCCCKKK

*sidesteps any crude jokes.
Not sure I’ve ever had reason to scream whilst making pancakes. Sorry to disappoint. On both fronts…

Are you going to be doing your own alternate Christmas message?

So condescending… it’s hilarious how they turn away when under scrutiny.

I can’t wait until someone releases the Trump book… There’s so much material out there to crucify him with.

I’m dreading reading the next chapter…

There’s a tweet for every occasion! Peddle hate and it’s going to come back and haunt you.

They just all look like they’d have nothing to say in a social environment. There’s no creativity in there.

Yep. It warms the cockles. Makes life feel a bit more Danny Champion of the World rather than 1984.

He was pretty good at Chess apparently, but I think he dodged Draughts…

I don’t use facebook these days, but on my instagram whenever I post a pic of my mum (she passed in 2006) I always get so much love from people I went to lower school with. My village folk still stay in contact at the key times of old friends lives. I love that.

I use a playlist called “Music for Concentration”… it’s like someone has just gone “Don’t worry Dave I got you, here’s some nondescript piano music without any fun lyrics…. Trouble is, it sends me to sleep. 🎹 😴

Why do they ALL look half sharp? Like they’d need the joke explained more than once. No social skills other than getting pissed in a pub and shouting about migrants.

These people have no desire to be nice to anyone. Uneducated neanderthals with a playground attitude. They don’t want to be nice, and they revel in seeing people suffer. I wish we had an island we could put all the racists and they could fight it out amongst themselves..

Only if it’s over-knight delivery.

Armour make a note of that one.

I can literally remember one bit of a car tapping another car ever so slightly after skidding to a halt… 💥 That’s all I got.

Must be. I’d like to think I’d be like that if I were famous.

I did a double take and realised others around me were gasping and pointing. Snatch was the only film I’ve seen him in. “He loves that dog.” Classic line from him. That’s all I know.

I once saw him walk past me in London. He was deep in discussions with a friend. I went round the block to see if I could sneak a pic, but didn’t manage it. Dammit!