VeX

Goliath Beatle, a band that does heavy/doom covers of Beatles songs

Store aisle shelves stuffed on one side with inflatable ducks faces the other, stuffed with inflatable flamingos.

some shit is about to go down

Never trust a holy man who needs a costume. My guy just wears jeans

I'm not saying I got super high last night, but there was a bag of potato chips in the refrigerator when I opened it this morning.

sometimes a coworker will drop offhand a piece of lore that feels like finding an audio log in a survival horror game

Just found out I was an NPC.

You could write a treatise on Dubai Influencers being shelled. The most postmodern of vocations, a simulacrum of a simulacrum of a simulacrum of a simulacrum, the furthest you can get from God, staring mortality in the face in its most primal form.

Ball Peen Hammer of the Gods

New hip hop duo, Case n Point

Grok, how do I tell if my baby is woke?

Is it unusual to have a foot fetish but only be turned on by one foot? Because I like to get off on the right foot.

I recently went axe throwing for the first time, and I learned three things:

1. I have terrible aim.
2. Waffle House is not an axe throwing venue.
3. Waffle House and its customers are very litigious.

Pretty storked about the new baby coming

Pleased to announce that my state (WA) will be more than doubling in size by annexing it's neighbor to the south. I would like to thank the generous Oregon donor who made this possible.

What if, and hear me out, the Highway to Hell and the Highway to the Danger Zone are just two different names for the same road?

"...and stop calling the tent in your pants the Bone Temple"

A nurple that's not purple is hardly a nurple at all.

Pronouncing Bluesky like "blooskee"

That functional alcoholic grindset

Poem in the Shape of the Poet Beating Henry Kissinger to Death with Their Bare Hands by Felix

Screw you and the island you Rhode in on.

If cats are supposedly such clean animals, how come they hate vacuums so much?

Had my tarot read and my Future was the Ace of Bass reversed.

Metamorphosis: a beanie hat lies lost on stony ground and is becoming moss.

A woolly hat becoming moss. I think this is how Narcissus became a flower.

#metamorphosis

Don't Make Eye Contact With The Bee & Other Tips For Staying Safe In Nature

People ask me, "Having a hot dog and a coffee while waiting for The Bus - does this glorify the Lord?". And the answer is Yes.

Here at Chuck's Discount Meats, we pass the savings (along with some food-borne illnesses) on to you.

Join with me to restore these holes to their former glory.

Mike's hard sour cream. Now with twice the corn