Juiceticles

oh noooo i misplaced my thesaurus im feeling disoriented, lost, adrift, discombobulated, bewildered, unsettled, perplexe- oh wait there it is nvm

Ew, no.

*motions to everything*

The doomscrolling is too doomy. Please advise

Was asked to join our crack research team and now I'm 15 days into rehab.

Googles how to unsay the stupid thing

The prophecy is unclear but it involves posting cringe

Not for fame, but for love of the game.
[eatin sausage biscuit]

[25 seconds into marathon]
lol nope

Maybe what you're looking for can be found in a person you don't want it from.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, dude?

I just went dark mode and now I'm being chased by goth kids.

I talk a lot of shit for someone who takes an hour to stand up straight after waking up.

A toy replica of me with my dad bod.
An inaction figure, if you will.

Please be patient while I fly off this handle.

The desperate attempt at humor will continue until the world is no longer so heartless and grim my god it is so grim

So many people unfollow me when I say gross sex stuff like they forget this is the internet and that’s basically its entire purpose.

the jorts whisperer

Warning: objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

my anxiety is on multiple side quests

a gofundme but for reposts

I should be able to send my cats memes

A vitamin I took got kinda stuck halfway down. So that's where my entire focus will be for the next 17 to 33 mins.

I like to pretend all of your subskeets are about me

I make up in my head how someone feels about me and believe it.

baja blast bidets

When Michelangelo got too old to care for himself, his kids put him in Asistine living.

i keep most of my dread in my ass and store reserves in my right boob i gotta warn sexual partners of this before they get all smacky grabby

“Forever 21” but it’s my defense mechanism when any pop culture reference makes me feel ancient.

Gimme some of that pound cake <food sext>

Last time i was raptured they were all like no way, bro