Lisa Singletary✨

nice✨

a squirrel is standing in a pile of leaves on the ground Alt: me frantically searching a pile of leaves on the ground for my evidence

nope, nope, hold on i have my human identity cards here somewhere istg

always the last place you look am i right fellow human?

Bio of bug eyed cat says "champion in the epic war against squirrels"

you would also be well-advised to know that i am NOT in fact, a squirrel

i am a human lady thing and any evidence to the contrary is PROPAGANDA

ANYONE CAN ATTEST TO THIS ON HERE!

funny AND TRUE 😯

this is the way✨

facts

hi 🤗

scrolling my tl and responding to every post i see as if you're all talking to me and only me directly

def not weird. everyone does this 🙃

related, there's a book called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron that's really good if you're into buddhist philosophy type stuff

this can't be accurate bc i'm hot and i'm still below 1.5k after 7k posts over a span of yrs

truth: big accounts use etsy witches✨

😯 @twosense.bsky.social says that is where all the hotties go! happy conquering! try not to get distracted by kissing! 💕

a frog is drinking a cup of coffee and smiling Alt: internet frog is drinking a cup of valerian root tea and smiling bc it's what valium is made from

*makes you a valerian root tea so strong it puts valiums to shame*

same, considering getting back on just to message the most ridiculous and nonsense things imaginable tho

less for you guys to have to read 🤗

a scarecrow with a hole in his eye is wearing a white cloth over his head Alt: Jason voorhees from 2nd film just wants s hug 🤗

fact: touch starvation kills more per year than machete attacks

birds would laugh in the face of the oncoming horrors and flip them off

yay! 🤗 TICKLES AND A BLUEBERRY!

i just want to follow the laws 😌

just read some books to a 2nd grade class. some are calling it the most selfless act ever. not for me to say.

this is true and i will NOT abide an unlawful lack of kisses 🥰❤️

your support is appreciated✨

agreed✨

7% of me is the sound the streetlights make while they warm up to the night

Ofc!✨

ⓘ this user will take a self defense class just to get a hug from the hottie instructor💅💕

and a strawberry for gideon 🍓

a group of blueberries with faces on them Alt: a group of blueberries with faces on them

😱❤️ MORE FOR THE PUPS!

Let's hold all questions until the end of the tour. Thank you.

if you have a lifesize stuffed horse inside your shop
and a sign that says "do not touch the horse"
imma make it my life's work to steal that horse
i will plan it like a heist & i will ocean's eleven that badboy right out the door under my coat

i even put an emoji after wo noticing wtf 🫠 excuse me while i cry laugh myself to death now