I know this isn't the time for jokes, but also it is precisely the time for jokes
03.03.2026 05:31
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I know this isn't the time for jokes, but also it is precisely the time for jokes
Last Christmas I gave you my heart
Please respond
Fkn typo
If you went to the Renaissance Festival and didn't take even one pic, dud you even go?
Ladies, are you tired of your placenta falling to the floor? Lightning crashing might not be for you.
Oh, for me they take turns running the show, but look out! Here come my unresolved anger issues!
"When the moral sense of a nation begins to decline, and the wheels of progress to roll backward, there is no telling how low the one will fall or where the other will stop".
Frederick Douglass, 1894
Desperately trying to use my turtleneck to cover up my double chin, "does this shirt make me look like a spatula?"
Can I shitpost my way back into your heart, or will I die trying?
-A memoir
I was my tv’s favorite kid growing up.
“I DO NOT want to go to JAIL! I’ve been criming like CRAZY like no one has ever SEEN before! Thank you for your attention to this matter!”
I don't know why sometimes I get frightened...
My first psych appointment in ages.
She can fix me!
🙃
Thinking about getting my own popemobile.
🤞🏼
Personally I don't like being blocked. I might fail miserably at trying to be funny, but I'm never rude or inappropriate to anybody.
So just mute me if you're tired of my antics.
Why block me? 🫤
But what if there was a test that could definitively show just how much of my blood is corn syrup at this point?
What then?
put my symptoms into WebMD and it said I have a really old joke format
💪🏼👊🏼🤘🏼👏🏼
And so, in summary, fuck everything
Protein soda? Oh no thank you! My diet soda is a mixture of chemicals that are slowly but surely killing me. Those proteins better stay the f away.
Well well well, if it isn’t the people who suck doing some more shit that sucks
Stunning!
LIFE: Listen, we can do this the hard way, or...
ME: Hard way!
LIFE: Let me finish. We can do this the hard way, or...
ME: Hard way!
LIFE: FINE HAVE IT YOUR WAY!
Signature songs. Trademark songs. Who you got and which songs?
I'll start. Agree?
Black Sabbath: IRON MAN
Iron Maiden: THE TROOPER
Metallica: MASTER OF PUPPETS
Ozzy: CRAZY TRAIN
Megadeth: PEACE SELLS
Slayer: RAINING BLOOD
WE ARE WITNESSNESSING THE TWISTED UGLY FRUIT OF 20+ YEARS OF FOX NEWS WEAPONIZING IGNORANCE AND HATRED.
They were playing the long game (which I guess was the destruction of our democracy)
I haven’t felt this dead in years
*Theiyr're
Single-panel cartoon by Tom Toro. Two men sit in a book-lined study. The older one says: "Those who don't study history are doomed to repeat it. Yet those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it."
