Jess 🐴

yessss

4 pics of a fruit design cat sofa with 2 cats one black and one with tabby markings . Cats 1 and 2.

I make unique hand made Cat Sofas >>> craftysharp.etsy.com
But do cats really use them? Well let’s ask some of my feline customers … 🧵
Gretchen and Amy say yes…

Intentionally crude illustration of a sleeping orange cat, dreaming of being kaiju-sized and rampaging through a city while people flee in terror. Caption reads “dream big”

Dream Big.
#art #MotivationalKaiju

I demand tragic Thunderbirds content.

A tribute to Rik Mayall in the style of Julian Opie's "Blur: The Best Of". The four panels consist of: Top left - Rik as Rik from "The Young Ones" on a yellow background. Top right - Rik as Colin Grigson from "Bad News/More Bad News" on a blue background. Bottom Left - Rik as Flashheart from "Blackadder Goes Forth" on a green background. Bottom right - Rik as Richie from "Bottom" wearing his devil's outfit against a pink background.

A tribute to Rik Mayall in the style of Julian Opie's "Blur: The Best Of". The four panels consist of: Top left - Rik as Fred from "Drop Dead Fred" on a yellow background. Top right - Rik as Carlos from "A Fistful of Travellers' Cheques" on a blue background. Bottom Left - Rik as Gertrude Richard Rich from "Filthy Rich and Catflap" on a green background. Bottom right - Rik as Alan B'Stard from "The New Statesman" on a pink background.

A Happy People's Poet Day to all who celebrate.

If we cared enough about “brown countries” getting turned into hot tarmac by military drones and bulldozers then we’d be on WW8 by now.

Bastards!

Not on my kitchen floor, man. Even after I've mopped, I don't trust it.

More importantly, why is he just giving away his UIN?

Pavlov's Dog - if you see a dog in act 1, it has to explode in act 3.

Stay Positive Yesterday I, as a middle-aged Englishman, did something out of my comfort zone.

I talked to a psychologist yesterday and found out some weird shit…

... There was a precious bit of blood orange in it. I'm really annoyed

No, YOU just whispered "fuck you" to the blob of muesli that dropped out of your bowl and onto the floor

It's a lungfish. Imagine a weird long fish that's had it's lips done, so it's somewhere between a pout and a puppy face. It's fins are definitely on their way to being legs, evolutionarily.

Look at this guy! Half fish, half axolotl, half puppy. 150% CREATURE.

I haven't been to AWP since 2003. I wish I'd known then where all the introverts hide.

[Insert clip of Lord Percy Percy saying "For God's sake man, let us sit upon the carpet, and tell sad stories" here]

It is *such* a nice day out there and I am really, really struggling to feel the niceness of, you know, anything. If you are also struggling to feel the niceness of anything, you are by no means alone in it. We probably shouldn't lie face down on the carpet together about it, though.

We keep our clocks at the same time, but move our homes and businesses 171 kilometers east

THIS EXPLAINS THE JUST EAT ADVERTS 🤯

NB they're not worth it, minimum 250 is plenty luxurious and 180 is just fine

[From Wikipedia] Catbus (Japanese: ねこバス, Hepburn: Nekobasu) is a fictional character in the Studio Ghibli film My Neighbor Totoro, directed by Hayao Miyazaki. It is a large, grinning, twelve-legged cat with a large bushy tail and a hollow body that serves as a bus, with windows and seats covered with fur. Here we see Catbus with a manic expression on their face as they zoom out of the sky and across the landscape leaving behind a Catbus-colored (tan and brown striped) streaking trail of jagged letters reading ‘Maybe it will happen today’.

... I have a *lot* of questions. 🤨

[We see a close up of a young white male, tanned, white teeth, coiffed hair clearly an influencer on social media. It is an image such as you see when social media posts are shown on the news. In the corner of the screen is named a location: DUBAI. He is staring slightly off-camera for several silent panels of the comic strip. His eyes move slightly. He is having a thought.] From off-screen a newsreader’s commentary comes: NEWSREADER: Extraordinary images here of an expat in Dubai [The influencer’s eybrows raise slightly] …Having their first ever geopolitical thought. [CUT TO a BBC news scene. The BBC newsreader CLIVE MYRIE is talking to an interviewee next to the screen showing the social media influencer’s face. The interviewee’s name is David Jones]. CLIVE MYRIE: To explain the significance of this moment we’re joined by David Jones, our Expat Thoughts correspondent DAVID JONES: Clive, this is momentous It was caught on film at the end of an Instagram post titled: ‘Dubai Is Brilliant’. [Pointing at the screen, the influencer’s expression still the same] You can clearly see in the eyebrows here, the dawning realisation that there *might* be something in the world beyond his dickhead self. It marks a *huge* departure from all the Dubai Expat’s previous thoughts. CLIVE MYRIE: Which are…? DAVID JONES: You've Got To Get Yourself Out Here Mate, Everything Is So Clean, I Don't Have To Pay Taxes, I Am Incurious As To Why I Do Not Have To Pay Taxes, and Spa. CLIVE MYRIE: And might we see an expansion of these new Thoughts in coming days? DAVID JONES: I think we can expect to see: “I Deserve To Be Airlifted By A Country I Pay No Tax To” CLIVE MYRIE: Mmm. [Ends]

M is for maybe this starts with an m N is for next letter, and that one's an n E is for easy, like spelling this word M is for magpie, the stealingest bird O is for only three more letters to go N is for nearly there, you mnemonic pro I is for imminent, this poem's end C is for congratulations, my spellingwell friend

If you are unsure of how to spell mnemonic, here is a handy mnemonic:

🤔

Stop callinge them "data centers" and starte callinge them "slop peripherals"

>_<

Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by Pu Songling and Scarlet Morning: Book One by ND Stevenson

Aw yeah (cc: @biggreenbooks.bsky.social , @gingerhaze.bsky.social , and the ghost of Pu Songling)

I mean, apart from all the desperate poor all those Elite Capitals will abandon to torment and death once they all manage to find private jets out of there

Oh dear, have they all just realised the very worst consequences of their own actions? Trapped themselves in a hell of their own making, have they?