DougExeter

when you are struggling to come up with a pet name for your significant other

it appears, once again, that pobodys nerfect

youd rather not know

look, in the coming days and weeks youre going to hear a bunch of things said about me by various bad actors like police, prosecutors, witnesses and so on

theyre calling him Qanon Hughes now

we have nothing to fear but snowballs themselves

as a guy who hits the halfway point of the 40s this week let me give you the good news. only one ear hair will grow on you each day. the bad news is it grows half an inch that day

today is the day he truly became presinuld

SCIENCE FACT: if you say “theyre calling me the goated unc in the group chat“ to your teenage daughter the court will expedite her emancipation petition

DougExeter: why Elmo look like he vowing revenge against the moon

Elmo has entered the battle for the Moon chat

just like the epstein files

i am pleased to report that the olympic dog has been humanely euthanized

cause its
ash wednesday
check it and see
i mark my forehead
in the shape of a T

the olympics were invented in 1919 by hubert olympics who wanted to give countries even more meaningless fights than war

Trump prepared to take more mature approach to international relations, says galpal

good news. ive reinforced my preconceived notions!

cause im
pam bondi
check it and see
protecting pedos
cause the dow is up three

cause im
bad bunny
check it and see
im singing songs in spanish
on your tv

smithers, im really enjoying this so-called “sammed arnold”

please dont put that i got booed at the olympics in the newspaper

considering buying low on america

The Thin Blue Monday

steve bannon is so fat that when he surrounds the polls, he SURROUNDS the polls

JE: come on down to littel st jmes its my island feb 1 throguh six

PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL: Jeffrey, you are well aware that I have a prior arrangement in those days. You can’t be serious.

JE: lots of shados to see here u looser

Fwd: RE: FWD: Re: girsl

my family requests privacy during this difficult time

weird way to announce you got into star trek

TED LASSO: *on his second week leading the north korean missile program* now what all y’all “nuke-u-lar” physicists forgot to ask yourself is: ”did this so-called idiot American spend his childhood knowing Planck’s Constant?”
ROOM: *gasps in unison*

as a polite canadian, it is my solemn duty to inform you that orange man bad