★ thomas brodie singstar ★

*Manager coldcalls*

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

I'm in, and I hope this can become a trend.

@braintwist.bsky.social , what happens when you claim that you're "down like a drowning clown, Charlie Brown"?

Make me hate something harmless just a bit less? Hell yeah, I'm in.

Honestly, and without any expectation of being recruited, I would love to attend a Xanadu watch party with that guy.

Also, good on the Slovaks.

He said Edison, not Bell.

god i love typos

The fact that he's doing, much less with relish, shows that Newsom isn't a Democrat.

My husband used to be a regular at an Indian restaurant with mostly white waiters.

Every time I tried to order chai, most of the waiters would angrily respond "DO YOU MEAN MASALA?"

I do if it'll get me a tea, dipshit

that's a good wizard name too

Also, the stat abuse at the top may as well be the flag of the Unserious Dork Republic.

His complaint, that the American penchant for drink customization compounds social isolation, is nonsensical on its face.

What's more likely to make one clam up in public? Waiting in line for an extra minute, or the risk that the person behind you is a judgemental weirdo with severe beeswax issues?

If fairly blunt newsreading and mathematical algos drove trading, and weren't specifically trained to ignore inputs from a list of named assholes, this is what you'd get.

And this is what we got. Hm.

Gonna go out on a short sturdy limb and say pissbabies are much more responsible for the issues he's talking about than coffee is.

Sooo, how'd that lawsuit and/or criminal complaint go?

Glad the key matched or the lock didn't work.

Some clod broke the damn driver's side keyhole on a car I'd owned for less than a week, and I'll never stop being salty about it.

Shame protects abusers. That's what it's FOR.

How dull does someone have to be to miss that in the year of our lord 1̶9̶5̶6̶ 1̶9̶8̶6̶ 2̶0̶1̶6̶ 2026?

Purity culture *is* pedophilia and rape culture. It inherently sexualizes children, keeps them ignorant and controlled, and victim-blames them when they are abused. There's nothing redemptive or protective about it.

When your birth certificate actually says "yesterday" on it

I'm wearing a fitness doodad and it shows that my heart rate went up 30 points at the mere mention of these fucking things.

It turns out that people on the very online site aren't all that online, huh?

It's from a different company, Mederma, and I don't know yet if it's good. Very possibly worth a try to reduce bacteria and mechanical stress, even knowing that you'd probably have to reapply after every meal.

IK you didn't ask, but ...

For years, I have ordered Compeed cold sore patches from the UK. They stick so well and are so flexible that most of my cold sores never erupt. Miracle product.

I have JUST found a locally available product with the exact same packaging.

I liked the rear fill too -- not only is it more convenient, but there's also one less panel to collect grime, and if the pump dribbles, it doesn't dribble onto the paint.

But weren't they phased out for safety reasons?

At the same time, historians may well struggle with it.

Best to chisel your explanation in stone and chuck the tablets into some promising-looking middens, and maybe a grave or two

A kid, wearing a black coat with pink sleeves, explores a frozen flooded picnic area at Þingvellir

My traveling companion is nine years old

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU

I lost half my books 84 years ago when a friend died without, yunno, willing my own stuff back to me.

I have a coworker who was always sus, and gone right-wing barmy in the 6 years since he stopped commuting in from the sundown town where he lives and grew up.

He makes a LOT of jokes about killing cats. It's impacted my opinion of him quite a bit more than his ugly low-info Biden jokes.