MY KIDS HAVE NOT HAD SCHOOL SINCE FEBRUARY 13 AND I AM STARTING TO FREAK OUT
25.02.2026 13:55
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MY KIDS HAVE NOT HAD SCHOOL SINCE FEBRUARY 13 AND I AM STARTING TO FREAK OUT
Me, after my kids get a snow day after they already had 9-day break: These are the times that try men's souls.
*At the library*
Me: Please stop screaming.
Kids: *screaming*
*At the movies*
Me: Please stop screaming.
Kids: *screaming*
*At a playdate*
Me: Please stop screaming.
Kids: *screaming*
*At an indoor play space*
Me: Okay, go nuts! As loud as you want!
Kids: Can we watch TV?
Letting my 4-year-old listen to My Kink Is Karma to support Chappell Roan.
Marty Supreme “for your consideration”
HHS: constantly updating coming out with new food pyramids.
Me: bribing my kids to eat three bites of pizza with the promise of ice cream for dessert.
Yearly reminder that the Grinch didn't hate Christmas...he hated the NOISE of Christmas. Which is extremely relatable.
A Hanukkah miracle: my dog got into the kids' gelt and ate a whole bunch but is...fine?
“The acclaimed director of When Harry Met Sally would never!”
*Watching a trailer for The Devil Wears Prada 2*
7-year-old: So the old grandma runs the fashion magazine?
Me: First of all, how dare you.
*Watching the first episode of The Beast In Me*
Me: It's nice that they let Claire Danes look like a normal 40ish year old woman.
The Beast In Me: This woman is severely depressed, paranoid, coming apart at the seams, barely holding it together...
My most aggressive parenting judgement is reserved for those who do family costumes that are *obviously* for the adults more than the kids. Don't tell me your five-year-old wants to be Dwight Schrute to your Jim and Pam. That kid wants to be Spiderman.
Overtime watching a baseball game: Free baseball :-)
Changing the clocks back one hour: Free parenting :-(
An press image of the mechanical ladder used in the Louve robbery turned into an ad for the ladder company.
Don Draper:
I'm always on the school side in this work vs school schedule debate but this year my kids only have 5 full weeks of school out of the first 14 (so NINE weeks of days off or 1/2 days) which beyond being a childcare nightmare is wrecking havoc on my PreK-er who desperately needs a consistent schedule
The generals at the meeting staring at Hegseth the way me and my fellow teachers used to stare at the principal every time they brought in a developer to explain the new district-mandated curriculum we would have to use.
My kids: Screaming every morning that their clothes are unorganized, their drawers are too full, their closets are too messy.
Me: Spends half my day off organizing their clothes.
My kids: Screaming this morning that they can't find the clothes they want.
Me to my husband at least once a week: “You can’t schedule a meeting during lunch.”
My daughter to me at the bus stop, after eating three different breakfasts, dressing in brand new school clothes, and being allowed to put pink hair chalk in her bangs, upon seeing another child on a scooter: You never let me do anything. You're so mean.
Seeing grown ass adults being like “Well I finally watched K-pop Demon Hunters and I didn’t like it” and…who did you think a movie called k-pop demon hunters was for? Not every popular thing is for adults, some things are for *gasp* kids!
Me, a former English teacher being told:
- No phonics
- No whole novels
- Unproven and untested workshop curriculum mandated
- Teach to the test (that used public domain writing from hundreds of years ago)
USA: Why can't the children read?
My kid, going to Me, checking
a playplace myself into the
psych ward
🤝
grippy socks required
Me, seeing a trailer for Weapons at the beginning of summer: Why are they releasing this in August? Why not around Halloween?
Me, after spending all summer with my kids: Oh. Oh.
A small brown dog lies on a couch buried in a pile of stuffed animals.
Our family dog doesn’t do regular play, no fetch or anything like that. So my 7-year-old has to find other ways to play with her, like making her into a stuffed animal in the stuffed animal store.
We’re all just trying to find the guy who did this!
Same fear but it’s my four year old holding up the evacuation line because she’s having a tantrum over going down without help.
Love how eggs still cost six dollars.
Saw someone asking for 'adults-only' days at the water park and just 🤯 You cannot kick children out of every single public space from airplanes to breweries and then take spaces made FOR THEM.
This and the fact that there's no more just 'rec teams.' Why am I paying $250 for my 6-year-old to register with USA Lacrosse before paying the team fee?
He's in a theater and people are singing show tunes?! No singing. He's at a party and people are doing show tune karaoke? No singing.