This Dog Picks Locks 🐾 Anya

Jesus Christ I’m old, wtf do you mean Sidney Crosby is retiring from the olympics?

I miss Rob Ford, RIP to a real one

cake in a box with white icing with bits of yellow and a brown icing circle. in the circle in read icing is the tex "You are NOT getting deported"

work permit got approved so my roommate got me a cake

A couple days ago I learned that engineers regularly throw crossdressing parties and like, cmon that’s gotta crack so many eggs every year. This is the woke college agenda manifest.

I’m extremely not normal about praise, and yeah my folks definitely fucked me up but that’s different I swear

Approved for OT 🤠
Approved for OT 🫩

I’m so Ilya-pilled, he moved to fucking Ottawa for a boy, bitch me too

Alternatively: hey shawty what department do you work for?

[going up to any tgirl in Ottawa] hey doll what’s your thesis on?

I’ll start studying at 10
Clock: 10:05
I meant 10:30

I did not exist in 2016. Go away.

im just a dog (26 year old woman) eating my slop (osmow's shawarma) from my dog bowl (dog bowl)

My hobbies include being a sad wet dog and being adopted by various friend groups

Okay but consider: stuffmaxxing rules. I love having stuff. The handful of times per month I can just materialize a tool someone needs feels better than drugs.

Female manipulator final boss (stacking the tarot deck)

😇😇

These guys are not prepared for my bullshit Mia

Grindr chat - I would've transitioned for you, just so I can breed you every morning baby Reply - estrogen vial with needles

Grindr chat - Bet - 😱😱 - I was just joking - Boooooo

Step your game up Grindr dudes

What I’m asking for is another Starship Troopers sequel

We have enough movies where Famous McWhiteguy does a hero’s journey and his lessons make him grow. This year I want more dumb meathead movies where nobody learns anything and it just kind of ends

It’s too late, I have already portrayed myself as Chortling Bernie and you as Seething Eric Adams

Getting sworn in on the transsexual bible (WARHOUND)

I WILL be getting more insane this year

The final Calvin and Hobbes, which appeared in papers 30 years ago today.

Gold star lesbian (has a costco card)

BIRDHOUND: "Nothing makes Sartha Thrace feel good the way looking at a bird through a 800mm telephoto lens does."

trans siberian orchiectomy

Heated Rivalry is propaganda, nobody gives a shit about hockey in Ottawa because the sens play in STITTSVILLE. You want me to take an HOUR LONG BUS or be SOBER and drive?? Get real