Andy Whitman

I live in Tucson.

A couple hours. I’d love to see you, so let’s touch base as your trip gets closer so that can happen. Great to hear from you, Ed.

That was a terrific football game. I turned it on, expecting nothing, and was treated to a game full of one great play after another.

For those who may have missed this news, my wife Kate and I are divorcing after almost 45 years of marriage. "Irreconcilable differences," I'm told. It's bullshit. All differences can be reconciled if people are willing to be reconciled.

I did not have "start life again at age 70" on my Bingo card.

White woman praying Evangelical Trump Supporter Asks God To Give Her Strength To Integrate Pedophilia Into Her Traditional Christian Values @funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social

Sometimes Facebook is worth visiting.

At the end of "The Social Network" the character of Mark Zuckerberg nervously refreshes his phone to see if anyone has replied to his message.

I'm currently experiencing that with my wife, an audience of one, who will only reply to me via email. She's been gone for ten days. Refresh, refresh.

My latest post on Substack: Quits, Day 5

andrewwhitman.substack.com/publish/post...

Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago

Also, "conspiracy-dispensing kook and confidant of RFK Jr." is not the same as "U.S. Surgeon General." Usually. But sometimes ...

Note to aspiring journalists:

"Going into labor to deliver a child" is not the same as "going into child labor."

More shit Mike Johnson doesn’t know.

A nephew’s son, a son-in-law, a sister-in-law, me, a daughter, and a wife in a Georgian restaurant in Philly. “Georgian,” in this case, refers to a bunch of dishes beginning and ending in “kh.”

Hi tourists! Why not come to America where roving masked stormtroopers could disappear you at any minute and the president posts videos of him dropping shit on people?

God is puzzled. Me too.

I watched "The Exorcist" yesterday, more than 50 years after my first viewing.

I was amazed by just how slowly the plot develops. Virtually nothing happens during the first half hour; there's a lot of pensive walking by the main characters. This film could not be made in 2025.

We must remember this time. When Americans took delight in the suffering of others. Cheered it on. Clapped. Laughed. All the whilst calling themselves Christians.

The whole world sees you now America.

And it’s not pretty.

You are not a country people want to support.

'Among the words Trump used this morning to label those enemies were "really bad people," "vicious people," "sleazeballs," "animals," and "vermin."

Christians, remember imago dei? The image of God, present in all people? How's that working out for you?

How DJT classifies America's "enemies":

- The American left
- His own domestic political opponents
- American journalists
- Residents of American inner cities

None of this - NONE of this - is legal or constitutional. Have you figured it out yet, MAGA? Welcome to fascism.

How "fit" does a soldier have to be to launch a drone?

Hegseth wants to hearken back to the days when taking Iwo Jima was the goal. But that's not the way warfare works these days. The questions now have to do with head and heart, not the body, and the heart has nothing to do with cardio fitness.

Figuring out which is which is the challenge, but yes, this is true. There is much in this country and its subservient national church that I cannot and will not accept.

I appreciate the sentiments, Martin. I hope that happens. But this time we did’t actually make it to Seattle. We landed at SeaTac and then immediately lit out for the Olympic peninsula, where we hiked glacial mountains, fog-shrouded beaches, and temperate rainforests.

Next time.

I appreciate the sentiments, Jeffrey, but we actually didn’t make it to Seattle this time. I hope that happens, but this time we landed at SeaTac and immediately lit out for the Olympic peninsula, where we hiked glacial mountains, fog-shrouded beaches, and temperate rainforests.

Next time.

"…and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel.”

hey the people that stormed the capitol and erected gallows to murder elected leaders want you to know that political violence is not ok

Where was MAGA empathy when Melissa Hartman and her husband were assassinated? Where was that empathy when Nancy Pelosi's husband was brutally beaten?

MAGA's empathy is very selective and subject to many litmus tests. Otherwise, it's a sin and a sign of wokeness.

Here are some of Kirk's beliefs.

I ate lunch yesterday at the Salish Lodge in Snoqualmie, Washington, site of all the "Twin Peaks" lodge scenes. I, of course, had the de rigueur slice of cherry pie. I regret that it was not "damn good cherry pie." Too much gelatinous goop, not enough cherries, and a burnt crust.

A Hypothetical Healthcare Dilemma Imagine, hypothetically, of course, that you are close to someone whose job title is Nurse Educator on Immunizations for the state of Arizona.

A Hypothetical Healthcare Dilemma

open.substack.com/pub/andrewwh...

I would gladly leave this country and never come back. Hell yes, I think there are better alternatives. If I was a single man without relational commitments, I would do it. I love my wife and kids. Even so, I have to think long and hard about it. That's how much I despise what is happening here.