PowerBottom 5000 (original)

can't believe just as I've got into Palm Royale, they've cancelled it. how rude

Tom Jones on a TV screen singing a song in German: Sex Pferd Sex Pferd Blaue Sex Pferd Hast du das blaue Sex Pferd im Park gesehen?

80s singer Thomas Dolby on raising queer kids: "the eldest is trans, the middle is a lesbian, and the youngest is a drummer"

The 3 genders

ask jeeves really was what the people wanted after all

just a really great guy called Al who writes summaries for everyone

I'm gutted because I want to hear her say Al's Overview

genuinely crying at how he must have reacted when she told him (he's a coder)

i love her so much

my brother has just messaged me that my mum thinks the AI summary at the top of Google is from someone called Al, who runs a website called Al Overview

yeah, I spotted that

someone in the replies to that article blaming the Welsh government for the incident and it's like people are so fucking car brained it's unbelievable

just an absolutely ridiculous thing to take into account

Not that this would make it acceptable, but just because I can predict some dickheads not bothering to read the article

What the headline doesn't make clear is that he was following the speed limit, not just randomly driving at 20mph

So uh, Spider-Man’s boss at the newspaper, nowadays he’s probably saying “bring me PODCASTS of Spiderman!”

I put the joke into an envelope, I send it off to Bill Maher, c/o every strip club in the greater Los Angeles area, I hope the simple message finds its way

"just fucking bursts out of there like the Kool-Aid man" is going to be lodged in my head for the remainder of my mittelschmerz years

krobus was my husband's favourite character

I wonder what weird shit we'll be buying in our twilight years

wonder what they've been replaced with now. temu I guess?

the funniest thing to me was how tiny the product codes were given the age of the audience lmao

there were also animal covers you could order for your vacuum cleaner, royal memorabilia and various creams for varicose veins

there were two videos and i had to ask "vol 1 or 2?" and one guy was like "vol 2 we've done vol 1 already heh heh heh"

almost every buyer was an older woman, with the exception of the video series "sex for the over 40s" which was only ever ordered by creepy men

when I was a teenager I worked on the phone for a catalogue company that was filled with weird contraptions like this. nothing you would ever see in shops, just pure gadget madness

tbf the suits are not so tight they are bursting out of them or shiny, so he might not be as critical

I'm 5'3", and my mum and her sisters are nowhere near that. each one of them is absolutely terrifying

Son, when I was your age, apples were as big as watermelons, they were green on the outside, and when you cut ‘em open, they were red and juicy inside and tasted like watermelon

people think I'm small, and have no idea how small my mum and her family are. I have tall energy because I felt like a giant around them lmao

the partner was telling me this at Christmas and how she thought my mum was exaggerating, only to then realise it was actually the most accurate description ever

just remembered when my brother and his partner were meeting my aunt, and my mum told her "she's a very tiny woman, with her hair in plaits and a tiny backpack - basically looks about 12". the partner saw someone who looked like that, but was like, wait, that's an actual child.

it was my aunt.

hey "nice" backpack haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around and reveals he is a netrunner from the arasaka corporation] oh fuck