yeah

Dont even need the chase tbh

You’re in her dms, I’m crashing my car into a fruit stand during a high speed chase

Finnish has much the same except beak animal is specified even further to be a _water_ beak animal. To separate it from all the other beak animals of course (no, birds are not called air beak animals)

Plateface is so much more, for sure.

VCR technology isnt obsolete, it just hasnt made any advancements in nearly three decades. thats why we here at Sony are proud to annouce our new line of VCRs featuring a whole slate of new buttons, such as PREWIND, SLOW FORWARD, PLAUSE, and STAP

when life hands you lemons, you have been chosen. it is time. there is no turning back now. you are the Lemon Keeper.

the INSULT that made a TRUCK out of "Mac"

can tou give me steven hundred dollars

[date]

her: I’m a chiropractor

me: *under breath* holy shit I thought they were extinct

Deadpool and Sub-Zero beating up Kung-Fu Panda… On ice!

what are the olympics even about?

Jos käänsit tämän lauseen englanniksi, sinun on aika mennä koskettamaan ruohoa, hengittämään raitista ilmaa… Sen luonteisia asioita.

Snowy shrubs

More snowy shrubs

the only hedge fund i’ll pay into

(sea monster bio)

You've probably seen my writhing in The Atlantic

this is absolutely the stupidest thing ever done in a sauna.

is this now the most beautiful item in your house?

Cowabunga hyvät herrat.

I think I peaked here folks

My compilations to the chef: Now that’s what I call food! vol. 58

the thing that really pisses me off when i'm being strafed by enemy aircraft is knowing this guy's fuckin sitting down up there. if anyone should get to have a chair it's me

(people i don't know at a party)
GIRL: right? all these fuckin creepy old white men
GUY: like a broken record, it's this shit over and over every day
ME (pretty sure this is a conversation about Dark City): yeah plus who they bald asses tryna fool with those hats?? you know the homeboy psychic

Wrote in my Gratitude Journal this morning, like I do every day, that I’m particularly thankful for my Spite Journal, which now comprises several handsome volumes.

i’m sorry.

what a coincidence my name is ser dunk too.. ser dunken’ the doughnut

sometimes, if you’re up early enough, you can hear them turn the birds on

let me know when so I can see you …facing me

I think I’m gonna dye in this house -guy who found his dream location to start a business (and to eventually suffer a freak accident in a vat of mahogany brown)

if i was a viking i'd be the one viking to actually have horns on my helmet. where else would i store my drinking horns?

lucky bastard

I’m going to become one of those eurotrash villains in 80s movies that plucky american heroes defeat with real american teamwork cmon you can do it

I feel interacted