Jessie

Just saw my first New York City dumpster, no city has ever been this futuristic

Ugh my back gave my eye arthritis

Freda got invited to Two dog birthdays next month. I don't mean that I got invited and was asked to bring Freda. Freda was invited by dogs she knows.

Me, picking the sleeping baby up out of his crib to cuddle him: "oh no I am nap trapped"

I don't see how this will help me but I'm not a doctor

I'm sick and little Nurse Freda finally came home from daycare and prescribed me a hefty dose of asking Jake to share his chicken nuggets with her

She did not do a good job :(

Letting my AI know I'm going to the gym so she's gonna be on her own for a bit

My favorite part of audiobooks is the end where they tell you what number to call for information, how to order a mail order catalog, and then a tiny mention at the end that they also have a website.

Baby's mad because he's hungry and I won't let him feed himself milk (he does not know how to feed himself milk).

It's so good that all of our babies are the best baby in the whole world

I have not!

Signed Freda up for an astrology reading to learn about her past before I adopted her

Sitting here with my 6mo thinking about the 6mo baby who was tear gassed and stopped breathing

We are aggressively babyproofing

Baby is suddenly very mobile! He can roll as far as he wants to, but only in one direction. He keeps rolling himself until he gets stuck halfway under a couch :/

About to schedule my very first parent teacher conference

This credit card application should also ask for my father's maiden name

I'm going to magfest for the weekend and I'm so excited to see friends but it's also my first night away from Baby

Nephew was very excited about the photo and had follow up questions.

I need companies (looking at you venmo, Amazon pharmacy) to stop emailing me to tell me that I did something. I know I did. I was the one who did it.

Baby had a massive vomit today so I sent a picture to the nephew. Will update on if he likes it.

I sent Freda into daycare in a cute sweater. They took it off! Which I could handle if not for the fact that I can see a dog there who is still wearing a cute sweater! She is not the cutest dog in daycare today!

Should I call them??!?

Bringing a sleep sack to the gym as a sweat towel so my baby thinks he's sleeping on me

He wants to touch the glass so badly!

We went to the MOMA yesterday. Every staff member who saw us told us we had to take Baby to the giant plushy room. And the poor staff member working it was so nervous we brought a baby into a no touching room.

No matter how often I cut his nails, baby wakes up with little talons. Which he likes to use to PICK MY NOSE 😭

I love when you smile at your baby when he's drinking from a bottle and he gives a big smile back and the milk just waterfalls right out