karasocial relationship 💜

fired ANOTHER plumber. like my problem is “hard water”???? ok bro that’s just ice like i’m not dumb

mike's hard water

“we accidentally built a social media app with over 40 million users where you can block the mods with a single button. plz don’t do it tho or we’ll be mad 😡”

that's a good idea

eating blueberry pop-tarts (without ketchup)

YOUR FAVORITE FRANCHISE
EVER HAS RETURNED FOR
A BRAND NEW ADVENTURE

*you click the link*

AS A COSTUME IN THIS
CRAPPY MOBILE GAME

i'm so sorry for this one, trying to delete hold on

achookkake

sorry, cant talk, found my original game boy and the tetris cartridge

the irony of the joke understander

A post from @stefanthinks.bsky.social that says "Thanks to technology, bananas are becoming obsolete as pretend phones. The future belongs to the Pop-Tart." with a comment from a user that says "So stupid. Why do I have to read this?" there is also a button that says "Follow back" that indicates the replier follows the original poster

POV: You’re court-ordered to follow my account.

when you say it's about practice...

P arasitic
R evenant
A bsorbing
C ells
T hen
I nspiring
C reative
E ndeavors

it's propagander

if you ever think you might want to correct a woman, simply grab a hammer and go to town on your skull instead

Alan Rickman voice from Galaxy Quest: Lookmaxxing influencer Choopy has taken framemogging to a new level

the only AI i need is my Awesome Imagination

additionally, "stan" comes from "relationstan." not many people know this

tune in tonight for my SOTU*

*skeet of total unimportance

freshly steamed pop-tarts served 𝘢𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴

back in high school i could fart the musical scale but i got detention for passing notes in class

ignoring your reply isn’t enough I need a dislike button

a vegetarian pita wrap restaurant called 'never meat your gyros'

dorito-shaped pringles in a three-sided can, PRIANGLES

[after getting 8 likes on a post about Dracula having sex with Bigfoot] I love Bluesky, but this isn't sustainable

[wife looking at sketch of donut burglar on the news]
"he looks like you"
[me holding huge glass of milk on way to basement] it's not though

Once I made the below joke about owls and if Hooters waitresses were real owls and a lady took a screen shot of my face and called me ugly for daring to besmirch Hooters. Which I hadn’t.

When the soulless ‘state of the art’, becomes the art of the soulless state, we need to get creative!

when sir mix-a-lot said "my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun" this is what he was talking about

don’t make me come over there and boost your confidence. I will fucking lift your ass up because you’re worth it, motherfucker

oh yeah?