sam the bluesky user

2 in a row babyy

Raise your hand if you love laying on the bathroom floor all night because of nausea

have you guys considered maybe they’ll retire it… *after* he retires?

comments on all the mavs posts about mark aguirre’s jersey retirement asking when they’re going to retire luka’s jersey. i fear people might be too stupid to

Timothee chalaMet Is in dune

had a dream i was in a happy relationship with a beautiful woman so if anyone feels like making that real for me please let me know

creased sluggo is very important to me

so uh my beautiful mavericks absolutely wrecked the knicks earlier and i kept saying out loud to my family "what is happening. how are we doing this"

los angeles teams must be prevented from winning any more championships this decade. the line must be held here. 1 nba championship, 3 world series wins, a super bowl win, and two mls cups since 2020? its not okay and it must be stopped

Help! I'm Addicted to Saying "PUP! Pup the Band. We Love PUP, don't we folks." in an Impersonation of the President!

me watching the mavs game tonight

“just take the vacation. book the flight. you only live once. just travel internationally. just take a plane as far away as you can. just take the trip” WITH WHAT MONEY??? NOT ALL OF US HAVE THAT MUCH DISPOSABLE INCOME BUDDY

basketball. what a sport

“uh that song is not just the stranger things finale song. its heroes by david bowie”- someone who knows it mostly as the song from perks of being a wallflower

i think a baseball team should let me throw the final pitch

i could not be forced to give a fuck about the odyssey movie being historically inaccurate. maybe its cause i do theater and all of Shakespeare’s plays including the histories get set in all sorts of ahistorical or fantastical settings like all of the time

i’m like if bobby from company wasn’t going on lots of dates with beautiful women. i’m just a single guy whose friends are all married or in long term relationships

reverse john be like
war’s still going
if you don’t want it
war’s still going
then

reverse paul be like
The mood is wrong
The spirit’s down
We’re gone today
And its not enough
Complexly having a terrible Fourth of July

blue beer, cold jean, dirt truck, big road… american friday night!

i like watching the mavericks and spending the first quarter going “hey, we could win this, we’re not doing too bad!” and the subsequent 3 quarters going “it’s not going well”

“why are you still on there” i’m going down with the ship like a true sailor. posts are the sea and i’m sailing them

i’m putting all my goofs on bsky now while all my doomer shit goes on twitter like my very own portrait of dorian gray

“join [insert account] on Meta AI!” fuck you. go fuck yourself

vampire: i should be invited into your home

subway takes guy: 100% agree. come on in pal- hey what are you- augh, urgh, aaah, ouch

i love when an app gives me a popup that says “loving this app? please give us a rating on the app store” no. you are instagram. figure it out

basketball player: where are all my basketballs

guy that is suspiciously shaped like a guy that’s eaten 15 basketballs: whoa i don’t know… that’s crazy… what? your basketballs? gone?

werewolf: there should be more full moons

subway takes guy: 100% disagree

Art is about your friend saying “but what if it was a textbook”

*flirting with mrs claus*

“so, uh, is there a Mr. Claus?”

“Yeah”