goose

as nintendoswitch.bsky i am in mourning

Sure thing, Sharepoint. I want to open Excel in my browser. Why not. I want to open my powerpoint slides in minesweeper. I don't care anymore. I want to open a can of coke in a thirty foot concrete cube. Fuck it.

You gotta love a squirrel just running around the zoo. The Bonus Animal

bro everyone is kinda pissed about how much you took from the horn of plenty

love how our cats knock bottles off of counters to get me to make them dinner like I’m the last cog in a Rube Goldberg machine

Some personal news: I've been hired by the big newspaper to write alternating monthly columns. Odd months I'll write about the death of free speech in the public square. Even months I'll write about people in echo chambers using their free speech to make fun of me. Salary is $600,000/year

meme of two lobsters fighting while three college kids excitedly throw money to bet on it everyone - the fighting lobsters and the depraved kids cheering them on - is labeled 'leftists'

people just showing up to bluesky: there's not enough political conflict here

bluesky, for the entire first year and a half of its existence:

No I didn't see the Mike Tyson Jake Paul fight I was busy looking at my wife

oh nice another platform to mute we rate dogs on

(trying to get to know someone) So what are your weaknesses

waiter! waiter! more twinks please!

and to top it all off theyre making me listen to gracie abrams

The time for blame has begun. Let’s start with the big one: Kamala would have won if all of your posts about the election had been better

hitman: who am I killing?

dog: ever hear of a guy named pavlov?

hitman: rings a bell

dog: *narrows eyes* that's right

You can only read 600 posts per day on Bluesky because that’s how many there are

just realized that i HAVE actually experienced thirst but thats just when my brain tells me i need a dr pepper so i thought that i hadnt

bluesky answers the question: who were the people willing to get on the visibly unfinished coaster in roller coaster tycoon 2

the glee fan wiki discussion board revitalization project has failed so i guess i'm here now instead

i cant wait until this site can go a single day without nearly every post being about twitter. like we are all here so we are on the same page already

done

padam (summoning gay ppl to follow me)

passing time waiting in line for this rollercoaster by researching all the people who have died on it

i don't subscribe to blocklists i like to hunt in the manner of my ancestors

“you flew too close to the sun” no I didn’t. I wasn’t anywhere near the Sun. I was actually further away from the Sun than you

If I'm paying $250k for a Titanic tour I better die

with LGBT+ you get to be gay without any of the ads

i have been trend forecasting for orcas the past 4 summers so this is an incredible year for me. didnt forecast the right trend (seaweed hat) but thrilled about the reality. seaweed hat for 2024 maybe