Craig Fay

Let me tell you, if you want to learn the names of all the countries in the world you better learn how to spell “Guinea”

Just recalled this line that came to me in a dream, without any context :

“It is important to remember that, at the time, the name ‘McTitties’ did not mean what it does today”

I’m dying over here. Jesus, the most teenaged boy thing I’ve ever heard.

I was just in the park and I saw a teenage boy (about 14) reach into his pant pocket and pull out a loose slice of cheese pizza.
Grey sweatpants, out comes a full unprotected, verticle slice of pizza.
Then yelled "FUCK, the tomato sauce got everywhere"

... Teenage boys are true chaos demons.

Me watching Andor
“I simply would not have allowed a Sith Lord rise to the highest political office in the Galactic Republic.”

"HI, it's us, your bank" in a spooky Halloween font.

Business emails: We just use the standard font. Roboto or Helvetica. We don't even know how to change that.

Spam emails somehow:

Guested on this podcast and awakened my inner tyrant

Show Poster - Comedy Special Filming. Comedians Andrew Ivimey & Craig Fay on a double bill of comedy specials. Comedy Bar, April 16th 7 & 9PM, 2800 Danforth Avenue, Toronto. Tickets at comedybar.ca

📣 BIG ANNOUNCEMENT 📣
I'm going to be filming a comedy special in Toronto on April 16th on a double bill with friend and hilarious comedian @craigfaycomedy.bsky.social
One ticket price and you get to see two comedy specials from some fun lads. Please come!
Tickets at: comedybar.ca/shows/craig-...

Event poster that says: Comedy special double feature - Andrew Ivimey, Craig Fay - Comedy Bar April 16th 7PM & 9PM 2800 Danforth Ave Toronto - Tickets at comedybar.ca

COMEDY SPECIAL FILMING 🔥🔥🔥
Our award winning podcast hosts @ivimey.bsky.social & @craigfaycomedy.bsky.social are filming comedy specials in Toronto on April 16!
One ticket price for double the ha's. Don't miss out.
Tickets at: comedybar.ca/shows/craig-...

🎵 Hot crossed buns
Hot crossed buns
4.99 a dozen
5.99 a dozen

Inflations a bitch 🎵

Hard finger slide down the tube then HARD leverage on the “empty” part next to the nozzle is a must.

cop in The Wicker Man (leaving unharmed because he slept with that hot blonde): what a strange, sexy island

Just hanging out tonight and don’t know how else to say this but, is tonight Sapphic Valentines?

“Hey hey, it’s the MORNING DRIVE with Peterson and the Rizz reminding you to make your bed and that vegetables are for pussies. *airhorn* Now strap in cause we got the latest from 3 Days Grace right after this word from our sponsor…”

A message to our podcast listeners.

Had to gently explain to my fiancé that “the weird guy from all those Wes Anderson movies” was not as specific a description as he may have thought.

Oh, so they’re going to make us the 51st state?!
Just wait u til they find out you can’t get Hulu up here.

Come visit our co-creator @wordsofdiana.bsky.social at Toronto Comic Con to get a signed copy of her book "Sex Lives Of Superheroes".

The slogan for Jameson Whiskey should be "Jameson, the free shot you do with a bartender when they decide you're cool"

Somewhere, in a tiny little bar, the best musician you’ve never heard is pouring their heart out while someone scooches past the stage to get to the bathroom.

I’m just saying, the severed floor got a lot more work done before they put Milchick in charge.

Mr bad Dr. Fineburg, I wasn’t familiar with your game.

Craig Fay Groundhog Day YouTube video by Craig Fay

It's that time again
@craigfaycomedy.bsky.social
youtu.be/C8cSe21Ngow?...

If you say it fast and pronounce “Reno” like the city you’ll sound like Ned Flanders

Saw this and thought “why is it so cold in Nevada?”

Up there with Peter Parker for having aunts/uncles that show the fuck up.

Gonna open a restaurant called “Tzatziki Tsar”

Four more years! Four more years!!!

This guy is such a curmudgeon. If he was an overpriced Italian sports car he’d be a Miserati.

If not friend, why friend shaped?