Crash

Talking to you people is like carving hieroglyphics into a flip-phone and hoping the Internet decodes it

In the end, Everyone teaches us how to live our lives without them in one form or another

Imagine hating me, when I'm just being Raw, Uncut, completely myself and actually express human emotion for others. Even when I shouldn't

Despite all of this rage, I'm still a goddamn sweetheart.
Bitch

All my friends here are dead

Well this app is depressing.
Next!

Strategic Dancing, because bustin' a move hurts these days

Match your energy? Nah, I'm exhausted

Deep down you know, I'd be better as a memory 🎶

It's like y'all are dead. Cool

my therapist said I always look for ways to blame myself for things. I feel so bad for making her feel that way 😔

[Johnson's formulating adult shampoo]

no. let them cry.

The silence of stories untold and other mysterious phenoms...

You haven't followed me back. Did you die?

I don't know why I force a bedtime on my body when my brain ignores it.

the girl with the buttered noodles tattoo

crap i think im starting to get along with some of you

The only thing I'm entitled to is being true to myself, And everything I believe in.
Now get out of my way, I've got things to do

If you think about it, I'm not being mean at all. Bitch, Help the guy out

I hope you slip and fall on a limp penis

[liking your post before I even read it bc ilu in general]

I’m quite proud of the fact that I’ve managed to get this far in life without hearing a Dave Matthews song in its entirety.

Forever M.I.A.

Normally I just smile at people, and then I keep on smiling until they leave. It just works for me apparently

*eating Beefaroni from the can naked in bed*

Livin’ la vida loca

Don’t mind if I do [steals your pickle]

“What's your greatest fear?”
“To be forgotten by a person who I could never forget.”

I think if Winnie the Pooh had an episode about the end of the world, I'd be much more prepared.

a vasectomy would fix me

Having an identity crisis greater than Oreos