Leen McBeans

Terror Alert Level:

the hot dog will be a dollar fifty until the heat death of the universe

March 8 on the calendar where it is printed: "International Women's Day" and "daylight saving time begins (clocks forward)

Thank you for having International Women's Day on the shortest day of the year

Perusing job listings again and realize the issue isn't that I'm unhappy with mine, but that I don't want to work at all

sorry no I can not turn my camera on for this zoom meeting because I am the reincarnation of narcissus and if i see my own visage I will become consumed with it and stare obsessively at my own face until I die

ICO writes to Meta over 'concerning' AI smart glasses report Videos, including of glasses-wearers using the toilet or having sex, are sometimes reviewed by a Kenya-based subcontractor.

Last year when I was checking into a hotel, the desk person was wearing Meta glasses. I kindly asked them to take them off. They were annoyed. I said, “I do not consent to you looking at my credit card and ID with Meta glasses on.” My instincts were correct: www.bbc.com/news/article...

“It’s not that deep.” It is that deep. I am a well. Lower the bucket

bluesky is an echo chamber where you learn about alf's dick. twitter is an echo chamber where you learn to say stuff like "actually it's called ephebophilia"

i am mad as a waterlogged rooster I actually don’t know how mad that is but it sounds like a lot

Every hour is rush hour if you're busy

Can confirm MA/RI this is a thing and very good 🙌

😭

what a truly wilde idea

prescription strength cuddles

Stay away from her James Fallon

I’ve seen enough. Not about the election. Just generally.

Alex the cat sticking his butthole in my face

imma start saying goodnight to you all like Alex does to me

Fox News had a plastic surgeon comment on the war in Iran, so I’m not asking, I’m begging a giant asteroid — any asteroid — to take one for the team and make contact with our civilization

[man having heart attack during flight]
Flight Attendant: IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE
Me: [raising hand] it’s not a house, it’s an airplane

On February 22, 2026, Naval Ravikant tweeted: "If you're unwilling to defend your country in time of war, then you're a tourist, not a citizen." As of March 3, 2026, the tweet has been deleted.

deleted his tweet as soon as an actual war popped off

Your hog is looking positively Lovecraftian today, homie

everyone stand back, i’m going to make dinner

This is great news! I already liked Mamdani, but was concerned when I thought he opposed American independence from the crown. Now that he has reconsidered, I like him even more

posting about raccoons while 38,000 feet in the air. this is what my ancestors fought for.

🫡🩳🚩

I’m soft spoken, ramble, and mumble. I’m not a stage presence 🤓 thanks tho

The biggest obstacle to this website's growth is that almost all of its user base goes to bed at 8 pm

Acting mysterious when in reality I just lost my train of thought

I’m in the US military and I’m about to make a fortune betting against me surviving a drone strike. The other gamblers don’t know how slow I run

reflecting on child abuse as an adult is so weird, to realize your parents never had a beef with you but took it out on you nevertheless