Mathota

At the low low price of 6 years of study and betraying the voice of goodness in your heart, you too can cast fireball into the goblin nursery.

I object to the term "posessing" when its my own body. It has unjust negative connotations to occupying a body that is by rights my own. I prefer "unnaturally inhabiting".

No one says the Living are "possessing" their bodies even though they are undercooked ghosts doing just that.

When I make my Homonculous son, I will use Chemical X to give him super powers.

This will be deliberate, and not an accident, as giving them super powers is obviously cool.

I will retrieve Chemical X from its safe holding container, which is, per the law, not in the Homonculus making room.

"Play with matches if you need to play with matches" alright @themountaingoats.bsky.social but I dont think this is a good idea.

My hobby is mishearing The Mountain Goats lyrics, and then treating them as divine revelation.

I have no ancestor spirits after a university drug trial obliterated them

“Correct me if I’m wrong” what kind of friend do you think I am. I will embrace you if you are wrong, I will support you if you are wrong. I will be wrong with you. We will be completely wrong, together

letting my spirit animal outside to hunt

My favorite band is doing a concert in my area.

Ive realized I only actually like 5 of their songs.

Only 2 of them will be performed at the concert.

Now im wondering if I even have a favorite band.

Everyone will let you down eventually

But there are always a few professionals out there ready to let you down right away, at a steep discount.

Plato would show up and say "this is a man" and I would be absolutely convinced and then Diogenes would throw a chicken at him and my world would be turned upside down.

Casting complex multi-hour divinations to fortell exactly which "yo moma" joke will hurt your feelings the most.

I'm drunk and can be trusted with a revolver and fire tornado magic

What if we are the demons, and the solar system is the Binding circle, keeping us trapped away from the Aliens.

My cat makes a humming noise.
My fridge makes a humming noise.

My fridge keeps food cold.
My cat does not.

So whats keeping my food cold, isnt the humming noise.

Its something else entirely.

Ancient Greek Philosophy would have me on the wrong side of history no joke I would not compete in that environment

Crazy that some Greek guy was just like "I bet you cant keep cutting apples forever, I bet there is a smallest possible piece of apple" was actually right.

If I was there i would have said "shut up Democritus, I just cut the apple again to have two smaller peices" and I would have been wrong AF.

looking for the perfect partner to particle antiparticle annihilate with

Under my administration all card carrying wizards will pe permitted to polymorph two of their enemies into upholstery without a licence, for the purpose of intimidating the peasants.

The demons had me with this one, and I apologize.

Hogwarts' official motto is "never tickle a sleeping dragon"

Well fuck you J.K. im gonna tickle so many sleeping dragons and they are going to love it and kiss me and be my best friend and there's nothing you can do about it

Beamed straight into your mind by the clandestine beings

Dragons are just like cats in that if you boop their snoot they WILL kill you.

Inventing new and creative ways to look disheveled so the other Cultists know I mean business.

I think I saw the Sun once, but I didn't look twice to check because they said you shouldn't look at it.

The monkey at the feet of the Throne of Heaven keeps on playing that instrument. You may not know this but thats a bad sign.

"Damn, my heart rate is up. Better have a coffee to calm me down"

The guy in the subway is a Fey-touched human in the same way a Unicorn is a fey-touched horse.

No dogs are fey-touched because they would not abide it.

No cats a fey-touched because all cats are fey.

We are in the best of all possible timeliness. I have it on good authority that the Pope is popping a couple of miracles a day to keep this ship afloat and the world we live in is the best he can do.

Its not that I cant spell, thats just the curse