August

I don’t care about magic; I just want weird worlds where no one has a smartphone

I’m on my third alleged fantasy plot idea where I’ve realized halfway through outlining that there is no magic involved in any way and thus, apparently, nothing to identify it as fantasy to readers and editors

Who is this Baratheon and why is he so hot? Like a sleazy Oscar Isaac

I just got home from a two-week road trip. On the way there, gas was ~$2.49/gallon. On the way back it was $3.19 💀

Ban authors from narrating their own audiobooks.

Joe Burrow and Max Scherzer? This is what fantasy sports should be.

I’m not mad about Walker winning—he’s had an amazing postseason and looked great tonight. But we all know why Seattle was here in the first place and how they won this game

Anyway this just further proves that defense is undervalued even when it’s winning championships

Y’all mad we didn’t get a kicker or punter MVP but they should’ve found a way to give it to the whole defense.

I had a dream that Jaxon Smith-Njigba was running for president and he had a pretty solid tax plan

If it was best jawline it would go to Fred Warner every year

Congratulations to the Seattle Samhawks on their upcoming Super Bowl victory

For now the second time in my life, I did not enjoy a snow game

That’s my Walter Payton Man of the Year

I keep seeing people bemoaning how boring this Chargers game is and hoping tomorrow night will be better… brothers and sisters, if you don’t like games that are 6-3 at halftime, you are not going to like Texans/Steelers

Update: my dad’s disappointment is limitless, but he has cheered up at the prospect of the defense murdering Aaron Rodgers as a consolation prize

I really do not like the turn this Steelers/Ravens game is taking because I don’t want 86-year-old Aaron Rodgers infecting Will Anderson Jr with any of the preventable diseases he’s undoubtedly riddled with.

On the other hand, it would be nice to send him into retirement…

It’s that time of year again! The gyms are stuffed to the gills and I’m going to bite someone.

I mean good luck on your resolutions, everyone! My resolution is not to bite someone curling in the squat rack

I’ve been on HRT for five years and still haven’t even had a single season with over 2,000 rushing yards. I want a refund.

I stumbled across some transvestigation BS saying Derrick Henry was definitely trans and ofc all transvestigation is bad and this one is obviously not true but ngl I kind of wish it were because that would be a huge W for trans men.

This is difficult, each has its own charms… I have to go with B because of the nipples

Before this week I had never seen the same player lose the ball twice on the same play, and now I’ve almost seen it happen twice. Maybe this is a cool new trend in an ever-evolving sport

He is giddy at the prospect of Rivers making it to Week 18 at the Texans.

My dad called me earlier and at the end of the conversation, he says, “Pray for…”

I assume he’s going to say my aunt’s name next, since she has cancer and is having a procedure done this week. No. Instead of asking me to pray for his sick sister, my father asks me to pray for Philip Rivers.

This game is a disaster. It’s so much fun

I can agree with all of that

The Houston Texans Cook Up Some KC BBQ on SNF

If we only allowed teams who won their conferences in the playoffs, Miami, A&M, Ohio State, Ole Miss, and Oklahoma would be out and Duke would be in. Notre Dame would never be in, since they don’t have a conference.

Sure, then get rid of CCGs (not that conferences will let that happen). But CCGs are like extra credit, you shouldn’t be able to lose points on them. Why should teams want to play in them if it might cost them a playoff bid?

I hate Bama as much as the next guy, but I kind of agree that you shouldn’t be punished for losing a CCG.