j u l i a 🪩

i am the lady with the swagger and heart of an entrepreneur

i walk in the ups store looking so lesbianic

oh. oh my god

where are all of you coming from why are you following me i’m never on here

restoring abstinence as a viable option in the modern dating landscape

joining the campaign for virgin acceptance

can’t say this on twitter but blaming a certain government administration for food safety recalls is striking me as so brain dead. in what world is that not the fault and responsibility of the manufacturers

i’m going to be an aunt

time to do some motherfucking. WEB DEVELOPMENT

(satire)

something about drunk driving just hits soooooo different

when he’s not online like truly does not use any social media and remains oblivious to the vast majority of internet culture >>>>

told the hairstylist to take off 5-6 inches and she took off damn near a foot i don’t know what to do guess i’ll km$

i’ve gotten so good at eye contact ever since i un-self diagnosed as autistic

telling him he’s the solution to all my problems and the answer to all my prayers

he feeling my kenergy

it’s almost like non diabetics aren’t supposed to take diabetes medication

damn you weight loss pills for making me wake up to throw up every morning if i wanted to get to skinny legend status this way i could’ve done it for free

my husband the contract attorney

embroiled in the local occult community intrigue they’re pressed about which order i’m going to initiate into

everything ordinary is too beautiful to bear

i must make the gears of progress maximally slick

bmi 18.5 here i come

i think the diet pills are working time to get back to waifmode

Screaming and empathizing with everybody in the world at the same time and bleeding out of my nose and eyes

me at my acupuncture appointments when i get acupuncture

using a gun as a weapon

i will smite thee mine enemy

he’s not gay he’s just a slut who’s terrified of both women and pussy