Jakespeare in Love

a four-panel stick-figure cartoon panel one: three standing figures. from left to right, a guy wearing a necktie looking at his phone, an angry MAGA guy yelling FUCK YOUR FUCKIN POST FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, and a rando just standing there like an NPC. panel two: the guy looking at his phone shows MAGA guy his hand, causing MAGA to vanish. the word Block hangs in the air where fuckface once was. a green-bordered in-game message appears, reading "+2 Mental Health." now the rando is suddenly interested. panel three: as our man continues doom-scrolling, a sly grin on his face, the rando on the right puts on a punch-me face and snarls: "Typical lefty, blocking everyone who disagrees with-" panel four phone guy shows the hand to punch-me face, causing the rando to vanish. the word Block hangs in the air where that dickhead was. a green-bordered in-game message appears again, reading "+2 Mental Health."

"The rangoon, mother!"

Harper to the judge: "Your driver's license doesn't list your height and weight at birth. It doesn't list where you used to live. It identifies who you are now."

a mario character is driving a yellow truck ALT: a mario character is driving a yellow truck

In Mario v. Trump, it’s pretty easy to know which of the two to side with.

Do we think there’s a polymarket bet that Trump pocketed all the tariff money?

A fluffy white cat reclines in a modern white lounge chair, lying on its back with its front paws resting on its belly and back legs stretched out. The cat looks relaxed and content, as if lounging like a person in the sunlight near a window.

Good, I see the council is assembled. We have mews from the outer rim to discuss.

They're really looking forward to the deaths of billions. I don't think celebrating that will get them into heaven.

Is that some kind of theramin?

Getting really flustered during battle because my sword makes a flirty little "ooh!" sound instead of a "clang" every time it hits another sword.

I am still very amused that my bard's cat familiar is named Macavity.

#DungeonsAndDragons

NANCY MACE: What is a woman? Have you learned that lesson?

WALZ: I'm the governor of Minnesota. I'm not here to be a prop for your obsession.

It not a war unless it's from the la Guerre region, otherwise it's just sparkling major combat operations.

RFK Jr. wants Dunkin’ to prove drinking its iced coffee is safe - The Boston Globe The warning comes as Kennedy is leaning heavily into his agenda to improve American diets.

This is what the revolution was fought over. Gift link.

www.bostonglobe.com/2026/03/04/n...

RFK Jr. wants Dunkin’ to prove drinking its iced coffee is safe - The Boston Globe The warning comes as Kennedy is leaning heavily into his agenda to improve American diets.

This moron has no idea how much of a third rail this is. If he goes through with a public fight with Dunkin he will never live this down. In the words of my people "fuck ya motha."

TAVERS: The Meow Wolf Roleplaying Game Immersive collaborative exploration based storytelling in a universe of multiple worlds

The Meow Wolf Roleplaying Game has hit Kickstarter, if you’ve ever wanted to jump through portals to other worlds and fight capitalism. It’s by Exalted Funeral and looks delightful.

www.kickstarter.com/projects/exa...

I just learned that “everything plus” is beatnik slang for “better than good-looking” and that’s a perfect phrase to bring back, given how many things are plus these days.

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That pic’s a gas, daddy-o.

If I were anywhere near there I’d ask for a sketch of the beatnik Visigoths from the Replacement God. Those guys were everything plus.

U.S. Troops Were Told Iran War Is for “Armageddon,” Return of Jesus Advocacy group reports commanders giving similar messages at more than 30 installations in every branch of the military

EXCLUSIVE: At more than 30 installations, U.S. commanders told troops the war on Iran is a Christian war.

The Military Religious Freedom Foundation has been “inundated” with more than 110 complaints.

One NCO said they were told the U.S. war is to bring about Armageddon and the return of Jesus…

Maybe we shouldn’t elect leaders who want to start Armageddon?

SPIRIT. 😜

I’ve waited decades to use this joke.

"My beard's kind of a ZZ Top right now"

"Really? I would have said you were a ZZ bottom."

🌓🌎🌞 <-- lunar eclipse

🌎🌓🌞 <-- solar eclipse

🌎🌞🌗 <-- apocalypse

I’ll be able to see it in the morning on my way to babysit my niece!

This is exactly the excuse Christian Nationalists are using to justify supporting him despite him literally breaking all Ten Commandments.

They'd vote for the antichrist if they thought it would bring about the return of Jesus.

“Stop thinking about the sign!” yells the party doctor. Everyone takes one damage from thinking about the sign.

Maybe I’ll make it so it only happens once a minute, then. That’s enough time to get the Cognitohazard cure, right?

Proof that Xennials are the best generation because we get the millennial nostalgia but don’t get blamed for it.

@sloanewinters.bsky.social, next larp I’m going to use this sign with another one that reads “If you think about this sign, take 1 Damage by Presence.”