colton

Man.

Vibes are pretty bad all around y’all. Looking forward to an improvement in the vibes.

Funny!

Excited to forget about the massive amounts of existential dread I've had for the last few months to watch the St. Louis Blues tonight.

Please do not show me their position in the standings, thank you.

Must be a typo, there's just no way

Hold up, there are TWENTY-NINE other teams??????

Y’all mind if I fuck around and have a good ass day?

Just realized how many players this might be true for

It’s probably best you don’t worry about it too much, they’re currently on a journey of self-discovery

I’m pretty confident saying that no one follows me on here for my St. Louis Blues takes, but if Robert Thomas’ final time wearing the note is on Wednesday in Seattle I am not going to be okay

on e

LA Open Cup 2016 doesn’t make the list because it wasn’t MLS, but genuinely one of the most fun away matches I’ve ever been to. Completely unforgettable, although the game was (Think it was Herc Gomez’ only goal for the club tho)

*This was at the Citrus Bowl which doesn’t help. Overall the area around there was cool, saw the new stadium being built. Seems like a good part of town

** They’re the same shithole stadium in different states with different roofs. Slight edge to Dallas for having a single bar near it

I got distracted being social and never followed up to this. I’m going to my 11th MLS away ground next weekend. Here’s my official ranking so far:

Minnesota
Portland
Vancouver
Toronto
Houston
Kansas City
Orlando*
Colorado - Dallas**
Salt Lake

Well great, now I have to go back to try this smh

Salt Lake is the worst away day in the league, would love a win tho 👍👍

It’s been a rough few months for your old pal BitterSnail. Trying my damndest to cling onto joy when it comes.

For shits and giggles a few weeks ago I bought a box of baseball cards and I shit you not nearly cried when I ripped the first pack. Smells just like it used to.

Long fuckin week. Better go buy some baseball cards about it.

Fuckers!

WHAT COULD GO WRONG!?

I haven’t seen this much fuss about inner-Birmingham conflict since season one of Peaky Blinders

Guy who can only view the world through the lens of sports tribalism:

Steve Jobs would never

FUCK. ITS FBS. DAMMIT WHY ARE THEY SO SIMILAR. JOKE RUINED

Ahhh shit. Mark just found out about Sac States projections for moving to FCS

Not having it today, simply not doing it. Time to watch Michael Carrick’s Manchester United for the first time in two weeks

Gets worse every year lol. Just a bad viewing experience (commentary on MLS, not the Sounders, that’s a separate issue)

Still the first half btw

Way funnier this way. Call my lawyer about it