Jono Zalay

PAID AGITATOR?
This man’s job is to ruin everyone’s day.

There’s a theory that one of the reasons the Roman Emire fell is because of population wide cognitive decline from lead poisoning. They used lead in their aqueducts and elites even added it to their wine. The theory goes that Romans got so dumber and dumber until they eventually became… Italian.

Spot on

Which one of you monsters used a monkey paw to get rid of the Chiefs only to bring back the Patriots?

#ice #bovino

That wasn’t the real Nobel Peace Prize. I know where it is but will only tell Trump after he does a single pull-up.

It’s mid-January and I’m still writing 2025 on all my letters of resignation from the DOJ because I refuse to prosecute Renee Good’s widow.

Will I understand Avatar: Fire and Ash if I haven’t seen Blue Man Group?

Had a chill new years. Just hung around the house. Played some piano. Kim Cattrall scatting for us.

BREAKING: White House Considering Posthumous Pardon for Zodiac, Black Dahlia Killer

I can’t believe the Colts are wasting Rivers’ prime like this.

Inside you there are 2 wolves.
One wolf likes the part of Groundhog Day where Bill Murray finds happiness helping others.
The other prefers the part where Bill Murray tries every possible way to kill himself.

Opinion | Trump’s crude remarks about Rob Reiner are unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner.

ART DEGREES AND NATIONAL ART ENDOWMENTS ARE A WASTE OF MONEY!

[Half a trillion spent building the most advanced technology known to man]

MAKE IT DO ART!
I WANT IT SPITTING OUT ART UNTIL WE CANT BREATHE

New Episode of I Hate Bill Maher w/ @jonozalay.bsky.social. We're into the Hurricane Katrina episodes. Pretty bleak stuff.
pod.link/1746469734/e...

ARE THE CLIPPERS TOO OLD?
We sat down with their starting guard who is having hip surgery…

Democrats are only releasing the Epstein files to distract from the fact they don’t have enough power and money to be pedophiles.

Can’t wait for Taylor Sheridans’s latest spin off…
King of Mayorstown

It really says something that a judge has to order federal agents to not hunt down children on Halloween

This guy is worth a billion bucks and still looks like Dennis Quaid’s wax figure was left in the sun for too long.

Dodgers and Blue Jays should call it even and share the championship. Win the Nobel peace prize instead.

I want to live in a city with good enough politics that the worst 25% promise they’ll leave.

Curtis Sliwa always looks like he’s about to fight Jean-Claude Van Damme

AI friends?! A REAL friend would never let you cheat on your essay.

What are your plans for the White House?
TRUMP:

Let them eat ballroom

Worst part of the Louvre jewelry heist is now I can’t wear around my sapphire tiara without looking like some kind of criminal.

Katie Porter had an awkward exchange after she called out a bad question.

In a not at all related story: the Attorney General refused to say under oath whether she’d seen a photo of Trump with minors in the Epstein files.

The overlap in the Venn diagram of comics performing in Saudi Arabia and those who toured continuously through the height of the pandemic is circle labeled NO LIVES MATTER