Shaftoe

seems to be confirmation that we did in fact hit a school

I took a prolonged break from social media and I’m glad I did otherwise I’d be even more unhinged, good luck everyone else

Bitch it’s already over $4 a gallon where I’m at

wife chasing me around the kitchen table with a rolling pin because she found me in the epstein files being a Mossad Operative

Moving forward I will try to post more things like this, for levity’s sake

Sorry gang, I seemed to have lost my ability to joke when every day is some fresh new nightmare.

i *know* this isn't true but it feels like axolotl and narwhals were invented in 2018

happy 14th anniversary to all who observe

[guy who sang baby beluga] the festering belly is splitting, each half digested soul fumbling for a knife

congratulations on purchasing this small container of 16 raspberries. that will be $600

i love stories of insanely wealthy degenerate gamblers. you have to be completely detached from reality to play like this. you're just mainlining risk like heroin.

anyway Goldstein just got convicted of massive tax fraud

archive.is/8Md9L

when you do it in reverse everyone just gets mad at you tho

Some bot account complaining about pronouns in bio shit. I asked the bot to write a poem about pangolins and it did

It happened again

Wow, some crazy stuff been happening, huh?

my post reads: "arms are brooms of the person". it has 1 save

another satisfied bookmarker

Norman Rockwell's "Freedom of Speech" painting.

Chicken noodle soup is American ramen.

Maybe not because, but it’s definitely part of the package.

i need 15 grams of bonhomie. and while you're back there can you get me 10mL of camraderie? actually can you just bring out all the good french feelings and I'll pick out which ones I want?

It's really too bad the United States Congress no longer exists.

You must be purposely and willfully ignorant or a total dumbass if you didn’t see this coming, ngl.

(pbs voice) Jerryposts are made possible by: nutella-covered pretzels, and readers like you

There’s been more recorded mass shootings this year than there have been days.

Just so I’m up to speed: guns and free speech are American rights, but having a gun and exercising free speech means feds can execute you in the streets in broad daylight and call you a terrorist, unless you’re Kyle porkerhouse.

So … guns and free speech are goodbad? Badgood?

Let you cook. Don't let anyone else cook you.

hey man i know you complain a lot but this really does seem like the winter of your discontent

I can’t stand hearing the same AI guy voice everywhere now (you know exactly which one I’m referring to)

Must’ve been one hell of a burger.

Intuit TurboTax Launches "Now This Is Taxes" Campaign

Are you serious lol