someone ordered diarrhea at the brewery I guess
07.03.2026 02:08
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someone ordered diarrhea at the brewery I guess
is there a sketch supercut from "the Bad Boys of SNL" era of women getting screamed at
national summer break
stager like a little so we don't starve
excited to announce that my film AMERICAN COMIC will be screening as part of the NETFLIX IS A JOKE festival followed by a special Q&A with cast and director moderated by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social
they keep me in a little pen at work it's fine
I've been in this liberal detainment camp for months now
the guard rattles my mesh wire enclosure
"you got a message"
He holds out out a screen, I squint my eyes to read
"John, get the most out of Digital Banking"
Springsteen is nice and all, but I need a new Run The Jewels album to help me navigate this moment
I’ve never been prouder to be a Minnesotan.
Posts may be a bit more sporadic from me today as my kids are home from school because my city is being brutalized by the federal government to the extent that it's unsafe for schools to be open
The woman shot and killed by an ICE agent in Minneapolis has been identified as 37-year-old Renee Nicole Good.
Good's husband died in 2023. The two had a child, who's just 6 years old.
The child now has no parents.
"There's nobody else in his life."
I can be allowed to lay down in the grocery store
It's the year 2030 and I'm looking for work after the admin assistant drone doxed me on tiktok for not tipping the AI toilet at work
Queen shit
these rich little fuckers about to make me stop watching shows I don't give a fuck. I won't watch a show. I don't care I'm just not going to watch shows the end. sorry. bye. I carve wood now
a product so remarkably cool, so exquisitely marketed
that a buyer will NEVER be able to tell wtf it is, what it does, even after buying and having it
ok fine, SOME hot people in movies
no more hot people in movies
I would pay good money for an amusement park that is just recreations of famous sitcom sets
5 min into crafting a joke and gif combo for the work chat when I'm like "hold on a damn minute" and I delete everything
it's called wisdom folks!
if you don’t spend several hours a day on your phone you’ll miss all the Crap and Bullshit
fantastic new app applies a smile to my face and light in my eyes! Good life not required !
I'm just looking for a diet and exercise plan that includes 4 to 6 pounds of night chips
parenthood is amazing because in the same breath you can say
"this child is the absolute light of my life" and also
"that lil fuker better be asleep up there"
I almost let the phrase "surveillance capitalism" slip past my lips yesterday at work
this LARP has gone too far
just remembering the "prank" my mother pulled on me a few months ago, where I went to go visit her and she acted like she had Alzheimer's
a stealth videogame about going unnoticed for a whole day at the office
other levels
at family event
at home as child
in subway car
Alien versus Jurassic Park please
we did it
we finally have Tylenol control
My 4 year old watching Monday Night Football
"I hope the Ultimate Raisins win against the Lions"
"You mean the Baltimore Ravens?"
"No"
