Randal Hendrickson

Pauli

I stole all these ingredients through a variety of distraction tactics, intimidation, and brute force.

Breakfast is rooted in violence. That is my teaching.

🚨 NEW INFLUENCER ALERT 🚨

You know how parents write blogs because they think they’re the first to have an idea because they have a fucking toddler they think’s a genius and so they’re a genius, too?

I’m doing that with kitties. Look at the nurture. Subscribe to my wisdom. Follow my teaching.

Pauli

Philip and I will make your bullshit boho design dreams come true, but we’re dropping in an Eames, and you’ll like it. Don’t hit us up.

It’s all making sense!

German philosophy skeeves me out. I’m done, man. I’ve seen enough.

I’ve spent my life hunting for Nietzsche. I once thought I found him in the woods, but it was just a pervert with a big mustache who said some crazy things that inspired me.

They teach the deadly Art of the Slappy Hand at Ohio State’s Chase Center.

The center teaches the “historical ideas, traditions, and texts that have shaped the American constitutional order and society.”

Such places contain corny chuddy twitchy boys, like Luke Perez here. 🍼

I’ve spent my life hunting for Nietzsche. I once thought I found him in the woods, but it was just a pervert with a big mustache who said some crazy things that inspired me.

Oh, hi. I didn’t see you there. I’m reading Sixties Party Leviathan.

That’s my girl, Pauli.

When I first saw this outfit, I was knocked the fuck down. King of the Jungle shit. My only thought was “Damn. I wonder if humanity would explode if sex pot here wore some jorts and lip synced poorly for a bunch of putrid fucking morons. So hot.”

“Why do you drink ranch dressing from a baby bottle and do a little tummy rub?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

I talk a big barbarian game. But truth is, I bring that JD Vance charisma to your party.

Like years thinking about the HOLD FAST knuckles. I somehow never wondered how they’d play in the wild. That’s not smart. I’d call it stupid. But I knew that about me.

If I do the intellectual hand thing on my face, it says “old.” Also happens when I hold a coffee mug. I’m not a planner. You knew that about me, baby. Came along for the ride anyway. OLD.

So this is a big yes from you!!!

I wonder if a YouTube with me debating idiot twenty-somethings would wake us up. Save us. You know?

I probably won’t do that.

Thanks! Am leaning.

Hey, chat. Someone is throwing himself a birthday party. Which hat best says “I am at your birthday party”?

Pageboy or preppy?

They’re finally listening!

Ha!

Title and cover for my forthcoming confessions.

Look how hard I can Midwestern. Natives are speaking to me in their own language, as if I’m one of them. Anthropology is easy.

“Hang on, son. You’re going to have to tell me again what you called that book page all bent and malformed by your soft and slow human fucking hands.”

😊

How commie? Dude, this is just the copy by my coffee grinder.

If you want to find academics in the Epstein Files, search “it strikes me that.”

No mofo in the cosmos is more stricken by things than an academic.

This can only mean they have no reflexes. Which explains the academia. Oh.

Taste is taste, somehow, maybe. That’s to say, some few seem to get it, whatever “it” is, across time maybe. I don’t know. He’s cool.