Special occasions are just another opportunity for an abuser to stir up drama and overshadow your happiness. 🚩
05.02.2026 22:29
👍 6
🔁 1
💬 1
📌 0
Special occasions are just another opportunity for an abuser to stir up drama and overshadow your happiness. 🚩
I hate my abuser
It’s important to visit the past to spend time reflecting on what has been-even the really hard stuff. It helps us identify patterns, see growth, and recognize ways God protected us through each trial. It’s healthy to visit, but don’t stay too long. Keep on, friend! ❤️🩹
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX-F...
Hugs. Hoping you found something to occupy yourself while they were away.
The belief that a partner or child can be owned is central to abuse. It explains the constant control, the seething jealousy, the silencing of individuality, and the violent rage when ownership is threatened.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Yes we don’t “just leave”, abuse victims escape. We’re torn and terrified and at the absolute end of our rope.
Love is meant to be a sanctuary of safety, respect, and support not a battlefield of control, fear and manipulation.
Joy Forrest and Called to Peace Ministires
Praise the Lord!! Sometimes, ok like everyday, it’s hard to imagine anything good coming from the ugliness of abuse and the destruction it leaves in its path. Thank you for sharing your story and wisdom with us!!
Saying “it takes two” in abuse shifts blame onto the victim and lets the abuser off the hook. Abuse isn’t a relationship problem — it’s one person choosing to harm and control another.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
I was ridiculed for any opinion that did not align perfectly with his. If nothing else, how boring right?
My abuser says I abused him by being closed off. I learned early on that it wasn’t safe to be open with him. I never felt like I could share my fears or frustrations because he was always on the verge of his own blowup or breakdown. His emotions were so big & chaotic I was forced to be the steady.
Triggered today. Early txt with $ manipulation. Add a 3rd party encouraging more positive interactions with my abuser, add talk of holiday plans, add 3rd party sent what 99% of world would call a heartwarming video but all I saw was lies & danger. I was quickly over my daily threshold of ick.
Holidays have been especially hard for a long time. I am expected to choose all the gifts for everyone usually without any real input from him, figure out something meaningful that each person will absolutely love, and stay within a very meager budget without buying big box stuff.
My abuser voluntarily gives me money for our kids and admits it’s only about a third of what I would be getting if we had any sort of legal agreement, but he’s also very critical of how I spend $$ accusing me of being frivolous, but also rebuking me if he decides they lack anything.
It’s destined for escalation without intervention. For me, 1st yrs filled with mild insults that progressed in ugliness over time. Eventually scolding (I felt like a child always in trouble) to yelling & mild physical. He yelled approx 5 yrs before the death threats started. I stayed 2 more yrs.
I hate it when someone asks if I’m ok just out of the blue. I know I should be grateful that they noticed me and had enough concern to ask, but afterwards I always overthink it-like “dang I must’ve looked really rough today”. It wasn’t even an especially hard day, just regular hard.
Abusers are increasingly misusing therapy language to control, confuse, and discredit their partners.
shadowsofcontrol.com/articl...
Denial protects the abuser. It’s often easier for outsiders to doubt a survivor than face the horror that someone they know could be dangerous.
#BelieveSurvivors #DomesticAbuseAwareness
I love love LOVE how the Lord so often encourages me with just the right verse at just the right time!! The Bible app is an excellent resource for daily reading, study & prayer. Sharing today’s devotional incase you need a little reminder of God’s love!! ✌️❤️🩹 www.bible.com/en/videos/51...
Struggling tonight. Leaning on the Lord and thanking Him that He is right here with me ❤️
Oh, if you get a chance you should give it a go. Nothing gets those No.2s sharper!!
Weird. I wonder if Covid put an end to the community pencil sharpener…or are we just so old that an item we used everyday as kids has now become obsolete. 😢
A lot of truth in this. Enmeshment is something I’ve not considered before, but it’s spot on. My abuser even says that we will be judged by God as one person because we are married. I wasn’t allowed to think for myself, do anything without his permission, or have any thought that he didn’t share.
🔎 Readers can find how many DV organizations in Nebraska offer emergency services and uncover gaps in shelter and crisis support. Discover the number and local resources — learn more 💜
zpr.io/ZSstpuTaxQU3
#NEDVHelp
Ok, is she homeschooled? I don’t mean that in a derogatory way at all (we homeschooled and loved it) just wondering about her exposure to the world. I mean, don’t they still have manual pencil sharpeners in elementary schools?? 🤯
And when we finally do what seemed to be the impossible and escape the abuse, most of the survivors I’ve talked to don’t want anything to do with revenge, they just want peace and safety.
Exactly. As survivors, it’s engrained in us to make excuses for our abusers-giving the benefit of the doubt. To say that my abuser only hurt me because he was hurting, that’s a total cop out. I bet an abuser came up with that line…someone who didn’t want to take responsibility for their actions.
