Me: I don’t need all these streaming services, let’s just get rid of a couple…
Aaaaaaand everything I want to watch is somehow on one of those platforms. 🤦♀️😂
08.03.2026 03:18
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Me: I don’t need all these streaming services, let’s just get rid of a couple…
Aaaaaaand everything I want to watch is somehow on one of those platforms. 🤦♀️😂
My shopping cart at the grocery store directly correlates with my mental health each day.
My husband told me the other day I remind him of Andy from The Shawshank Redemption with how I’ve approached querying.
How I WILL. NOT. STOP. TRYING.
Every no is one closer to a yes & some exciting thing are going on behind the scenes I have to keep my mouth shut about right now but stay tuned 😂
I love all those reasons!
From another “find a cave and hibernate “ type person, what’s one thing that makes a book something you don’t want to leave your cave for?
Tonight I’m watching a 2.5 hour long movie that I have less than zero interest in watching because my husband wanted to. HOWEVER, the stipulation was that I get to pick tomorrow’s movie & I’m going to pick the most rom-com/drama filled movie I can possibly think of 😂Drop suggestions in the comments
Along with my querying journey, I’ve been (not so) quietly building something for the past few months, and I’m excited to share that…drumroll please…Jordan Ashley Photography LLC is official! Follow along to see the final steps leading to my full launch 💕
🎉 🥳🍾
📸 www.facebook.com/share/1aSP6k...
I wish my brain understood that the fight or flight response is not an appropriate reaction to a phone call, yet here we are.
Apparently putting things out into the universe works??? 🤞🤞🤞 for this 📚 phone call I'm scheduling...
My motto in life swings between “what’s the worst that can happen?” & “more espresso, less depresso” while a little jingle plays in my brain.
Deep breaths 🤓❤📸
Furiously biting down my fingernails & refreshing my email as I wait to hear back about the full & samples I currently have out in the universe...
Anyone else have Hakuna Matata play nonstop in their head out of nowhere?
Picture of an instant ramen block against a pink backdrop with the following quote under the word "snippet": “Really? After judging my cooking methods, you’re making it in plastic bowl?” “I’m trying to save you from doing extra dishes.” He walks over to the fridge and holds up an egg. “Can I?” I give him a vague gesture of acknowledgment. “Don’t worry,” he grins, “I’ll make sure it cook it properly.” I roll my eyes. Kai fills the bowl with boiling water, then cracks the egg into it. I hand him a pair of chopsticks to hold the lid in place. He chops up the rest of the green onion, carefully scooping up the slices. I peer over his shoulder when he removes the lid and sprinkles the scallions in. The egg whites have cooked through, leaving a perfectly shaped yolk. “Behold,” he says, holding out his bowl, “a lazy poached egg.” “Can you even call it a poached egg if the yolk is just sitting out naked like that?” I ask, eying his bowl skeptically. Kai picks up his chopsticks. “Fine, it’s a half-poached egg,” he shrugs. “Still tastes good though.” I leave him to his Gudetama egg and turn back to my own bowl, relishing in its lingering warmth.
I love instant ramen, so I had to include it in my #FakeDatingFoodie romcom featuring a restaurant kid and the boy from the rival "Chinese" food fast-casual chain trying to put her family's mom-and-pop noodle shop out of business 🩷 #FoodPit #YA #R
One thing about time travel that might surprise you is that people aren't as consistent as you see in the movies. For example, most nights my Mom makes pupusas de loroco, my favorite. It's one of the reasons I like this day so much. She even remembers to put my curtido in a bowl, because I like to eat it separately, instead of on top of the pupusas like everyone else. But sometimes she makes tamales instead. She cooks them with the bones still inside the meat, and I really do not like that. It makes them hard to eat and feel bad in my mouth. Mom says we're salvadoreños and so we have to do it that way. I don't get it. No one is forcing us to leave the bones in the meat because of where my grandparents were born.
Soft Time
Autistic kid Joaquín thinks he's reliving the same day every day, but if that's the case, why doesn't his mom make the same thing every night?
#MG #SF #ND #OV #W #FoodPit
Both of my #FoodPit posts in case any #Agents are searching the feed for a Dark Fantasy with a strong romantic subplot, feminine coming-of-rage, and a dash of weird humor. Cause why not?!
I'm querying VEILSTRIDER now 🫶
#AgentGuide below as well 🥰
🕊🔥🐦🔥
Conversations with Readers #1; Reader: “I am very emotionally invested in the Ava/Cole relationship already (insert crying emoji) Ima need them to work things out or I might actually cry” insert three crying emojis. Me: “Maybe they do, maybe they don’t?” insert girl shrugging emoji. Reader: “I will be reading tonight until I have to go to sleep,” insert nervous emoji. Conversations with Readers #2; Reader: “Also sorry it’s taken me a minute, today I’ve been able to sit down and actually read read and I cannot put it down!” Conversation with Readers #3; Reader: “Not you booping the goddess of memories” insert laughing emoji, crying emoji, laughing emoji, “I may or may not have laughed out loud in a very quiet room when I read that part” insert three laughing emojis Conversation with Readers #4; Reader: “I’ve been resisting the urge to text you so many times because I didn’t want to blow up your phone,” insert laughing emoji, “I’ve been out here laughing, crying, all the things.” Conversation with Readers #5; Reader: “The consequences were so perfect considering the (expletive) they did to get themselves there in the first place” insert OK gesture, “And I really did love it so much for real,” insert crying emoji x3 and 3 heart emojis, “I couldn’t put it down, I had to know what was happening!” Conversation with Readers #6; Reader: “I love Waffles so much,” insert crying emoji x3, “I just picture Oakley with two heads, growing fifteen feet tall with spikes and scary teeth,” nervous emoji, crying emoji. Me: “Rawr” insert laughing emoji Reader: Also (expletive) Katarina and creepy (expletive) Jeff. And Demeter for that matter.” Me: insert laughing emojis, “Yeah they’re awful.” Reader: “I have so many things to talk to you about, so many emotions,” (insert crying and nervous emojis).
SNIPPET
While he may seem perfect, I can’t trust myself around him. Not until I know more about myself and where I am. Because if I let this man into my life & he hurts me? I’m not sure that ice cream & wine are going to fix that level of heartbreak
📸Readers say
#FoodPit #Q✍️82k #A #F w/ #R #H
“I led them around the corner to reveal tables and shelves well stocked with many cured meats, drying herbs dangling from above, wheels of cheese, preserved fruits and vegetables, and a jar of crackers.”
An excerpt from my 12k chapter book:
THE CAT OF VERSAILLES
#FoodPit #KidLit #AmQuerying
Milky Way Cafe's specials:
The ghost speaker - Hot chocolate, a seat tucked away in the corner, and a blueberry, maple, and bacon scone.
The scientist - Black coffee, any day old scone, and local gossip.
The daemon - A second cup of coffee that you can’t remember ordering.
#Foodpit #Q #PN #MY
On the Wile, women gain power through the ritual slaughter of men. Ripley’s first kill is meant to secure her place among her sisters, until the man beneath her sickle refuses to beg & the rules she’s lived by begin to fail.
Feminine Rage🔥
Forbidden❤️
#Foodpit #H #R #F #NA #Q
Mood board/Agent's guide for my novel CARGO - a queer SF/heist/romance - 113,000 words "Did you hear? There's a human on board." A graphic of the wall of a spaceship with sticky notes and polaroid photos taped up. There are twinkle lights hanging from the ceiling. alien ship's cook (fussy, anxious) + terrifying monster (ordinary human)
PITCH: Tai’s terrified of humans. Everyone is. Violent pack hunters, humans are notorious for their strength, sharp teeth, and carnivorous appetites. But the ship’s cook is safe among the multispecies crew of the cargo hauler Coreward Baker: everyone knows the warrior species rarely leave their own space. Then Captain Raz hires Clarke, a human horticulturist. Even after Tai overcomes their fear, they can’t stand Clarke. She’s bossy. Annoying. Useless in the galley, bad in a space suit. She might as well be cargo. Worse, she’s intent on befriending Tai—and why can’t they stop thinking about her, anyway? That’s when things go wrong. As Tai starts to realize their feelings for Clarke, they’re horrified to learn that nobody on their crew of dropouts and runaways is quite who they seem, least of all Clarke. And it’s no coincidence. Raz reveals they’ve each been handpicked for a heist he’s spent years planning—and no one’s allowed to say no. PRIORITIES: make dinner remain cozy haul cargo go for drinks pull off one last score try not to fall in love
FIRST PAGE: “Did you hear? There’s a Human on board.” I choked on my noodles and turned to stare at the diners at the next table. Like most of the restaurant’s patrons, the pair had hidden their profiles, a halfhearted attempt at anonymity. “Gross,” the speaker’s crewmate said, oblivious to my alarm. “I hope it leaves soon.” “Don’t let it hear you say that,” the first worker laughed. She made a show of looking for Humans, her eyes darting from table to table. It. I frowned. I knew the workers’ language distinguished between people and things, and ‘it’ was an unkind choice of words at best. The second worker shuddered. “I don’t know why we let them come here.” The first laughed. “Are you going to stop them?”
COMPS: Murderbot by Martha Wells Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers TROPES: Non-binary narrator masking anxiety with sarcasm lying to themselves non-human perspective (afraid of humans) neurodivergent main characters metaphorically disabled protagonist slow-burn friends-to-lovers and enemies to lovers in the same relationship disabilitynorm and queernorm setting found family loveable pet/terrifying monster
Agents, this decision’s a piece of cake: in a nutshell, you’re looking for queer sci-fi with eleven cooking scenes, a foodie ship’s cook, alien fusion cuisine, and a cat who only wants protein cubes. Message me, I’ll spill the beans, and we can bring home the bacon together. #FoodPit #SF #Q #LGBT
A snippet of text from a fantasy novel
One more little snippet from 🌿HEAVY IN YOUR ARMS🌿 this time feat. some ale!
#FoodPit #A #RF #LGBT #Q #amquerying
Despite the name, mid-morning snack was about the same size as lunch was. It featured colorless corn and a small slice of meat that belonged to no identifiable animal. There was a carton of milk, of course. At exactly 10:26 all the other children started eating as one, just like they had at the first meal. For several minutes all she heard was chewing. The girl with the red hair was seated next to Sophia, and when she started talking, it surprised her. “I’m sorry I asked you if you went to a barn. That was kind of mean. I just didn't know what to say. No one has ever said that kind of thing to me before. Friends?” Sophia didn't know what kind of thing she was talking about, but she really needed a friend right now. “Friends.” She didn't say anything else because she was afraid she would ruin the moment somehow. It had been that kind of day. The redhead went back to eating whatever it was. Sophia wondered if she should eat any of hers. She didn't like her options.
Sophia decided she was too bored not to eat. At least it was something to do. She almost immediately regretted it. The main course was like a fish’s idea of what chicken tasted like, and it was too soft and yet stringy at the same time. The corn tasted good (better than it looked), but the texture was like she was chewing thousands of tiny plastic bags. She wasn't sure if the dark sludge was gravy or chocolate pudding. She left it alone, so she never found out. She had a staring contest with the cow on her milk carton. She lost, so she had to drink the milk. She tried to swallow it like a pill. That didn't work either. She got up and took her tray to the conveyor belt.
Why does the school in the strange new alternate reality Sophia is trapped in serve four meals during the school day? Why aren't any of them good? There is so much Sophia doesn't understand about the people she's with.
#MG #SF #ND #OV #Q #FoodPit
Mrs. Becker shrugs off my mom’s arm and takes a huge breath in. “I can’t do this.” That’s when I smell the distinct odor of something that’s been on the stove too long. It must reach Mrs. Becker’s nose at the same time because she gasps and flips over a pancake and exclaims, “And on top of everything, I burnt the pancakes. I burnt the freaking pancakes.
QUEER NANCY DREW
17-yr-old Emmie is suspect #1 of a murder during her mom's book event. She needs to get her life back & not get killed in the process.
🥞Pancakes
💖 Sapphic crush
🕵️ Amateur investigation
🎃 Halloween vibes
📚Indie bookstore
🐈 Store cat
🌈 Queer cast
#Foodpit #Q #YA #MY #LGBT
Murder Mystery Party, Everyone's a suspect, is it your sapphic crush, your boss, or your ex? October 31, 2025, The Final Chapter Bookstore, Green Barrow, PA. All the candy you could ever want but be careful of the chili...RSVP to Diane Billas by requesting her manuscript.
QUEER NANCY DREW
This bookstore Halloween party has all the candy you’d ever want but you’re too busy trying to figure out who killed your archenemy to clear your name. Did your sapphic crush, your boss, or your ex do it? Oh, and beware of the poisoned chili…
#Foodpit #Q #YA #MY #LGBT
VEILSTRIDER is a warm, honeyed flathen #FoodPit.
Made in fire, cracked improperly at the edges, and still soft enough at the center to be worth fighting against a bloodthirsty fascist regime for.
#Q #NA/#A Dark #F
Still life with a cup of chocolate by Spanish painter Juan de Zurbarán, circa 1640, sourced off Wikimedia Commons. (Technically, this is not quite how chocolate would be prepared in England in the 1660s, but it's similar and the image has the right vibe, LOL.) Underneath is written in old-timey typesetting: "A Receipt for Chocolate. Take a pound of Cacao Nibs, half a pound of Sugar, twelve each of Almonds and Hazelnuts, one ounce ground of Cinnamon and half an ounce ground of Aniseed and a quarter an ounce ground of Nutmeg, and half a drachm each of Allspice and long Pepper, and have a servant grind into a paste about half an hour to an hour, and make it into little cakes about one ounce, and let set. When you would use them, warm over the fire some good Claret Wine, and in it dissolve one cake every four ounces of drink, then take off the fire and stir in orange flower water, rose-water, musk, &c., as suits your fancy. Then dump down your Nemesis's doublet-front while calling him a Scoundrel, Devil, & Rogue, and declare eternal Hatred and Vengeance upon him."
Craving some 17th century cold-weather vibes? Please enjoy this historically accurate recipe for drinking chocolate for #FoodPit, inspired by my #W IP #YA(?) swashbuckling farce, THE DUEL IN 1660! ❄️☺️☕
A #FakeDatingFoodies #YA romcom sampler menu:
🍦taiyaki soft serve
🍜 spicy soup noodles
🥮 every kind of mooncake imaginable
🍤 Costco-sized bag of shrimp chips
🍨artisanal ice cream
🍣sushi buffet
🍳instant ramen with a gudetama egg
🧋boba
🍉fruit sliced with love
#FoodPit
