Steve Crawford

Playing my all time favourite video game: delivery tracking

Haha, thanks! Sure it will become insufferable as I continue this nonsense well into their teenage years

You felt like a wreck ON A BIKE though so that’s still net win

Just ad libbed a song to encourage my kids to eat broccoli and am pretty proud of rhyming ‘sulfurous compounds’ with ‘thunderous bum sounds’

My kids school are just saying ‘dress in a colour related to a book’. I think they’ve nailed the fun/participation ratio

Just about to re-shelve the living room books after decorating. Going to make sure all my Calvin & Hobbes, far side etc are together at kid height.

Picture of London with a list of seasons THE (actual) SEASONS Winter Fool's Spring Second Winter Spring... of deception Third Winter Mud season Actual Spring Summer Pretend Autumn Second Summer (one week) Actual Autumn There is an arrow pointing to Fool's spring saying "we are here"

💅🚲

I’m at the bike workshop. I’m at the nail salon. I’m at the combination bike workshop and nail salon.

I don't care about what political party they belong to, but I strongly feel Parliament needs more Plumbers Who Are Also Training How to do Plastering, and less people who have PPE degrees or programmes on "news" channels.

Also EAT SHIT FASCISTS

BIKE FRAME BIKE FRAME BIKE FRAME

[In the sietch]

Paul: [chanting] woims, woims-

Other Fremen: woims, WOIMS

Stilgar: [stomping without rhythm] WOIMS, WOIMS, WOIMS!

Common Peephole     She came from Greece, she had a faulty socket. Her eye fell out, she couldn’t stop it.   That’s when I caught her eye. Brian Bilston

Pulp poetry.

Looks like he was about to give you a proper kicking

This is great! Have been wanting to read more of your stuff but am a bit wary of Substack as a platform. Escape feels like the right place for your reporting and I really look froward to learning more about the less heralded racing.

I try hard not to have takes online but here we go anyway: hahahaha eat shit, fascists

Cillian is the king of high quality low-brow cycling related jokes

To be fair, all of the comparitor countries are rich and snowy.

Dear Mr Kirkdale bookshop keeper, It's me, the boy who asked to put the "One Piece" book on hold. How's your day been so far? Well for me, I'm getting thro teeth out at the dentist, not because their rotten but because I need to braces (I cind of scared). Due to the above, I will not be able to buy the book so please, please, please can you keep the book for one more day. From the boy, Jacob is my name. p.s. plase, please, please rec.

Imagine being like this. Maybe we actually were all once like this. Be more like this guy!

I’m a big fan of this and would add Tour de France to the list. This year the first time it’s been off free to air since the 80s.

Chapter 1 of Moby Dick, page 1 The phrase ‘Call me Ishmael’, the first sentence of the book, is highlighted in blue, with careful highlighting on the very big C at the start. Above this, written in ballpoint pen ‘His name’

Love the glimpse into the beautiful mind that notated this used copy of Moby Dick I got

Sure sex is good but have you tried cleaning a cargo bike drivetrain after 2 weeks of salty roads? #cargobike

Absolutely deserved. I say with all seriousness that I consider Hey Duggee to be an all time great alongside the wire, andor etc

I've just bought a new spray-on keyboard in a can!

It's qwerty.

I wish there was a way to keep in touch with dogs I meet outside of grocery stores.

No gloves needed for after-school pick up today. Big day.

Chani and Paul talking... CHANI: So, Paul, how's the Muad'Dib job going? PAUL: They pay me in woims. CHANI: {math lady overlay, thinking about woims} PAUL: Woims.

I've been woimpilled

It's time for some woimposting

Holy moly, you've corrected something that's sat broken in my brain for over 30 years. Of course he can just be the hothead.

Thanks to technology, bananas are becoming obsolete as pretend phones. The future belongs to the Pop-Tart.