spimsley pete

what could reds and deads and shawshanks possibly have in common?

just one simple thing: redemption

also let’s face it, the dick going in part of sex is a lot better than the dick coming out part

bsky.app/profile/fatt...

happy birthday young fella

tubular is fine actually

oh yeah, and then you’re like “okay so, heaven then?” and they’re like “nah, your soul is just gonna kind of rejoin the cosmos now” and thats it

there is an afterlife when we die, it looks a lot like a pearly gates situation, but they just sit you down and explain yr personality to you and all the ways you got in yr own way and all that shit. and everyone, even you, has infinite compassion for yr flaws while alive. isn’t that beautiful

cant explain, but when a dude says “unreal” in a certain way, thats a red flag

also one time me & a buddy ordered the ingredients for ayahuasca off the internet, and brewed up a big vat of it, and drank it in the woods on a blanket, and puked and tripped balls 👍 i made friends with a Walnut Man (a man whose head was a walnut. he had a flying carpet)

💯

oh phew, thank god

again, we were *at* school, it was lunch. we got in so much trouble

when we were 10 or 11, lunch time at school, someone found a bullet under the bleachers and brought it to me because i’d “know what to do with it”

which i sure did: we dropped big rocks onto it from a walkway until it exploded. everyone ran away except me and a couple buddies

yeah thanks for this rec, it’s great. kinda old school mixing style. really enjoyed this

I am looking for 12k friends :)

ruh roh

i’m just giddy about tiddy!

If I ever hear the nuclear air raid sirens blare I’m going to find a nice brick wall somewhere and make a silly pose so my silhouette gives survivors a little chuckle

straight up

so he leaves. you got it

from my search (to get the correct years) People also ask: Why do Kuatos say “open your mind”? What is a Kuato in Total Recall?

yeah why are they always saying that?

this is a comparison of two weird little squishy guys: Yoda (Star Wars, 1977), and Kuato (aka “Belly Boy”, Total Recall, 1990)

i guess that’s the rebuttal hey?

golfer at a driving range, hits a golf ball out over the grass. the ball flies out, hits the ground, bounces and rolls a few times, comes to rest against a blade of grass. the blade of grass says “what are the odds?? of all the blades of grass in this field. wow”

if you were a random atom in the Solar System, 99.9% chance you’d be in the Sun. if you weren’t in the Sun you’d be in Jupiter. Maaaaybe Saturn. that’s basically all the choices. it’s more or less statistically impossible to be anywhere else

fucking jumpscare

give him a sock so he leaves

you got it

hell yeah sounds great man