Séamus Hanly

You’re telling me it’s STILL November?!

What did the producer say to the disorganised cinematographer?

“Get a grip!”

Pogue/Póg = Kiss. Shane was the singer.

That makes him the only kiss singer worth mourning.

Farty Fart and the Stinky Bunch

You’re telling me it’s STILL November?!

The Appauling Hulk: Instead of taking responsibility and leaving town after his outbursts, Bruce Banner claims that he has no control when he’s the Hulk and therefore can’t be blamed, stays in the once place and causes the local comedy scene to be fraut with tension.

I think Michael Myers just wanted to check if people were cake.

When I was a kid, a another kid from school played Super Mario at my house, and kept referring to the coins as rings. I think that was the first time I witnessed culture shock.

I find it very hard to tell if I’m good at keeping a secret because no one ever tells me anything or listens to me.

I have nothing to declare but my anxiety.

This is awful. I’m not British!

American shows keep doing that thing where a character goes to Europe and meets a weirdo, who is clearly a weirdo on their own terms, and not reflective of Europe, but we’re still meant to be all like lol that’s Europe.

It’s surprising that Sean Connery wasn’t in Whiplash considering he’d both been a Russian and a Dragon.

your mission should you choose to impossible

People were upset when Bob Dylan went from black & white to colour, but fair play he stuck to his guns.

Warm up double bill

Is the smoke alarm supposed to make a final death scream when you remove the battery, or did this one become sentient?

Also, why wasn’t this the full title?

I really want the Wonka movie to be set in a world where chocolate is only allowed for adults, so a burly posho with a tache can shout, “This is outrageous! Chocolate… for CHILDREN?!?!!!”

SLUGWORTH — an origin movie where he’s the Salieri to Wonka’s Mozart. Michael Shannon stars?

Siemens is so close to being a palindrome. And who wouldn’t want a Snemens phone?

I hope I’m funnier on Bluesky, otherwise what’s the point?

Eventually computers won’t just make movies, but also will synthesise audiences to watch them. These audiences will generate revenue thus creating a computer that simply exists to generate money… wait, is that what Bitcoin is?

A battlefield fills with thousands of superheroes, Wakandans and sorcerers walking through portals for a climactic fight with Thanos. Captain America stands at the head of a group including Thor, Hulk, The Guardians of the Galaxy and numerous others. Captain America calls out, “Avengers!” Zoom in on Captain America where he says the famous battle cry, “Endgame”. Cut to a wide shot of thousands of superheroes charging into battle.

John Travolta’s Gabriel is sitting down, hair slicked back, wearing a dark suit and a thin goatee. He says to the men across the table from him, “Yes, I’ll have the swordfish.”