My next door neighbor still has his giant Halloween skeleton and associated skeleton animals up in the front lawn. Kinda annoying but also kind punk at this point
26.02.2026 04:31
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My next door neighbor still has his giant Halloween skeleton and associated skeleton animals up in the front lawn. Kinda annoying but also kind punk at this point
Game Night
Shall I compare thee to a fucking jerk
I can't put into words the feeling of watching our government, a hive of evil antisocial filth, the absolute worst humanity has to offer, colliding with the best. Ordinary people trying to help each other, risking everything to stand up for what's plainly, unambiguously fair and right. It's unreal
Fargo
On top of the greatest QB play I've ever seen the week before (vs GB). Caleb has GOAT potential
Do not put another dime in the Jukebox Baby. The Jukebox Baby is an abomination
hello
Wow, even this one?
[Xmas morning]
Santa: I'm back!
Mrs C: Did you see the whore?
S: [sigh] Kids lose teeth on Dec 24th. I'm gonna run into her. You know this
Hey Now
You're a Boxcar
Full of Children
Solve Crimes
Almost hit Christmas without remembering to reshare my alt version of Baby It's Cold Outside. Enjoy
That song is ridiculous. I had a joke on the old site about the line "the ox and lamb kept time" which is dumb because the drummer keeps time
There are two types of Christmas songs:
1) This sure is a lovely time of year
2) I want to fuck the Santa
🚑 🎶 "I Saw Mommy Charged Five Grand for Gauze"🎶🚑
💰🎶"Halve Your Wealth to Repair Your Meniscus"🎶💰
🫤🎶"God Rest Ye Weary New Mother (For 24 Hours, Then Please Vacate the Maternity Ward)" 🎶🫤
Checking in with all the kings and queens who had multiple opportunities this Thanksgiving to reference Tim Robinson quotes and did so but managed to hold back on pulling up Netflix to make them watch the referenced sketch and endure the awkward silence
It’s been a year to the day we bought (and then didn’t, for reasons we still don’t fully know) InfoWars. We’re still trying. In the year since, we built The Onion into one of the biggest newspapers in the United States. I’m so proud of this place. I’m proud we do hard stuff. Thank you for caring.
The downfall of democracy started in 1995 when ya'll voted blue to replace tan in the M&Ms. They learned we can't be trusted
reposting here bc it’s only on the other site but…
5 years ago, I worked at Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
Update: The monkey has been elected governor
So I Married an Ax Murderer
I have busted
the ghost
that was in
your hood
and which
you were probably
scared of
and screaming
Forgive me
busting
makes me
feel good
Every golf tip video: "Here's an easy way to stop topping your 3 wood: Make sure 65% of your weight is on the lead foot. Hinge your wrists no less than 22 degrees but no more than 24 degrees. Keep the club head facing the North Star. Then just relax and swing easy!"
Happy National Sons Day to all sons who have joined their family business, allowing it to change its name to [Family Last Name] & Sons. You help keep this classic business naming convention going strong!
Dammit, I bring shame to my family again
Django
Agree. @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social is my weekly hour of joy in a garbage world
If you don't listen to North American Friends @nafmcpodcast.bsky.social :
Now is the time. You may think podcast gross. That's fair. But why not challenge the expectation?
Engage w content that supports diplomatic relations w Canada & America.
Help us expand the goodwill bc you like nice things.
