J.D. Vance

she does exist btw

hey guys have you seen my wife ? i haven’t seen her for a few days

i love scrubs, it’s about a guy just like me who is also named JD except his stands for John Dorian and mine stands for Jiant Dickhead

madame web wasn’t that bad, guys

well i wear contacts so

okay, good.

hello, how long have you had an account here

siri how do i get lip stick stains out of suede upholstery

anyone else ever wondered why there isn’t a LA-Z-GIRL ?

okay. good.

know any good furniture stores

other vice presidents are fine, but i am definitely the sub in this relationship

hey guys yes we want to end fair elections but let me tell you why that’s a good thing and very relatable: i will get super rich like mega rich dude way richer than i am now that’s for sure

i’m running for vice president which basically means i’ve applied to be trump’s little bitch

except of course for my wife who is real

guys tim walz has something i’ve never experienced before in my life: a loving family

a picture of me, j.d. vance and my wife usha (who exists) standing in front of the world trade centers in 2001 watching as trump’s private jet takes off right in the direction of the towers. behind us there is a beautiful cloudy blue sky and large yellow text that reads: “i did not fuck a couch”

hey everyone please see this statement from me and my wife (who exists)

i also will not stand up for my wife but i do love her and she is totally real

so i will not stand up against racism, but i will admit that my wife (who exists) makes me horny

from for former never trumper, let me just say that having my juicy tush squeezed by my horny older boss every morning has been the highlight of signing onto this campaign for me

what does USA even stand for am i right

omg robert no way i havent seen you since that time when you accidentally poured your drink on me! good times

me, J.D. Vance

my lawyer friend was telling me about this

they said you can’t profit off the presidency but they didnt say anything about the vice presidency

which cover should i use

guys i’m starting a podcast

hello, how long have you had an account here

me, jd vance, and my wife usha (who exists) standing in front of the world trade centers in 2001 as trump’s private jet takes off into the cloudy blue sky. behind our heads the title of my new podcast: “how to benefit from fascism” can be seen in bold yellow Helvetica-Neue Condensed font.

me, jd vance, and my wife usha (who exists) standing in front of the world trade centers in 2001 as trump’s private jet takes off into the cloudy blue sky. behind our heads the title of my new podcast: “how to benefit from fascism” can be seen in bold red Helvetica-Neue Condensed font.

should i go with the red or the yellow

hey guys it’s jd vance