Matt Wagner

Screenshot of a headline from Barton’s The Stock Market’s New Fear is an 11-Letter word that crushed the economy in the ‘70s.

Anti-cocaine?

Remember when Vanessa Williams lost her crown for actions not in the spirit of Miss America?

I just think FIFA needs to think long and hard about the terms and conditions around their totally legitimate Peace Prize.

Emergency all-hands meetings on a Friday are intense, but sometimes necessary.

There’s a trope in fantasy stories where the world is revealed to be post-technology.

I always thought that could happen due to catastrophic war, not because society willingly gives up all other technologies in order to feed the demand of an over-hyped magic computing system.

I want to write “Oleanders for Olive”, the spiritual successor to “Gardenias for Gwendolyn”

I was just contemplating how no president has actually died on President’s Day.

I think if one were to do so, then the holiday would forever be all about that President.

What a unique way to memorialize a historic legacy.

Ah well.

Fisher Price Little People toys of Batman in his black and gray costume and the Joker in a purple suit, green tie and hair and clown makeup.

My daughter used to refer to these as “Batman and Mommy” and you better believe that has been in our family lexicon for a decade plus at this point.

Who’s up measuring their measure?

Sunday has historically been the best night to go out.

No amateurs getting in the way of the professionals.

NEED TO KNOW • The FDA expanded a January 2025 frozen tater tot recall to about 648,000 pounds • Products were distributed to foodservice clients, not retail stores, 28 states • No injuries reported, but plastic fragments pose a choking risk

I know it takes a little bit to get used to writing the correct date after the new year, but shouldn’t someone have caught that this states the recall was from January 2025 when it was actually January 2026?

Pam Bondi in a congressional hearing saying “The Dow is over fifty thousand”

Roses are dead
Violets can pound sand

Imagine how much intercourse will take place if It happens today

These are the same people in the comments criticizing his choice to carry an American flag

It’s the old raver in me but EDC always means Electric Daisy Carnival and not EveryDay Carry.

I was genuinely wondering what rave “tools” were “hidden” in this “watch”

I saw this reposted, without seeing the original post, and thought it was one of those “what’s your minor encounter with a celebrity” posts.

Apparently my out of office message I turned on when I took a day for a colonoscopy “lacked professionalism” 🙄

“I’m out of the office today in order to shove a camera up my ass. Please try and put yourselves in my shoes, and treat whatever issue you are emailing me about like a camera.”

Dentist: Have you been flossing?

Me: *deflects by consulting my burn book of dentist insults* Big talk from a guy who looks at tongues all day

I know you're not supposed to pick on things people can't help, but Pam Bondi is dumber than a bag of dog shit on the ground next to a trashcan instead of inside it

Has anyone seen my super secret laser weapon? I know I had it when I was in El Paso earlier this week…

Does Kalshi have betting options for the reason air traffic has been halted in El Paso?

I’m torn between mass graves at Camp East Montana and military action against cartels in Mexico.

Maybe this is just me being an old man, but I absolutely cannot take someone seriously if they are holding a lapel microphone and talking into it.

Black and white photo of Leontyne Price as Cleopatra from the Met Opera’s production of “Antony & Cleopatra” by Samuel Barber. She is wearing an elaborate head piece that frames her face and hair and a multi-layered dress.

I’ll take any opportunity to talk about Leontyne Price as Cleopatra in Samuel Barber’s opera

I have a minor medical procedure this week that requires sedation and I’m terrified I’ll wake up and IT will have happened and I will have missed the jubilant celebration when the world finds out.

This thread is fantastic.

I worked at a record store in the Dallas suburbs in the early ‘90s. There was a large Vietnamese population in the area, and they could not get enough Latin Freestyle.

I was mainly into house and breakbeats at the time, but learned a lot about Freestyle working there.

You know they double check to make sure their doors are locked when they get close.

Your definitive guide to the sports of the Winter Olympics

Hands down, the most thrilling Super Bowl this year.

quiet, piggy

I’m boycotting AskJeeves after this abandonment of principals.

Infoseek will get all my search requests going forward.