✨ Nicky Is Typing ✨

Yesterday, at around the same time that ICE murdered a US citizen, the FDA released the new Food Pyramid.
My sister: “I’m so excited! This is what I voted for!”
Great. I’ll remember that when they deport my spouse and send me to the camps with all the other queers.
Enjoy your food.

BREAKING NEWS CONSUMER'S HANDBOOK 1. In the immediate aftermath, news outlets will get it wrong. 2. Don't trust anonymous sources. 3. Don't trust stories that cite another news outlet as the source of the information. 4. There's almost never a second shooter. 5. Pay attention to the language the media uses. "We are getting reports"... could mean anything. "We are seeking confirmation"... means they don't have it. "[News outlet] has learned"... means it has a scoop or is going out on limb. 6. Look for news outlets close to the incident. 7. Compare multiple sources. 8. Big news brings out the fakers. And photoshoppers. 9. Beware reflexive retweeting. Some of this is on you. From ON THE MEDIA website.

I hate the news coming out of Brown U. Trying to remember the rules for breaking news to try to stay calm.

It's crazy to me how the country that celebrates the Boston tea party as a patriotic event is always aghast at property destruction during a protest.

Nicky is facing the camera for a selfie at the flower shop. They are wearing round glasses and a striped shirt. The shop is a disaster and covered in leaves.

Proof of life, I guess.
Things have been crazy and looking to get crazier and none of that has really been for the best but, hey.

Exactly 🫠

He has a tendency to just kinda… make up his own “facts” lol

Somehow this text exchange evolved into a brief phone call about my father’s short lived high school basketball career, followed by a discussion about the logistics of our visit to the neurologist tomorrow. 🙃

A continuation of the text between Nicky and their Dad. They discuss the price difference between plastic Veteran’s Day poppies from the 1950s ($1) versus fresh imported poppies in 2025 ($5 a stem). Have no idea why.

🤔

A text from Nicky’s 74 year old father. It reads: “Good morning Nicky. Did you know that opium is made from poppyseeds?”

Um, good morning to you too, Dad.

A white furry medieval creature. Is it a cat? Is it a dog? I dunno, but it’s how I’m feeling rn.

How I Am Feeling—as told through the image of this medieval cat-dog creature

Right?! It destroyed my wholesome shipping of Burving, but I also can’t wait to see exactly what kind of “scoundrel” he ends up being.

Having ADHD + a uterus appears to make perimenopause an extra level of irritating. For example, rn I feel like I can smell everything in a 5 mile radius of my apt. and not only is it all awful, but it’s filling me with unbridled rage. It’s distracting me from all my normal distractions.

DOGE is like if Fyre Festival was a government agency.

A very bougie looking trailer—housing a portable sauna—is shown parked on a rocky RI beach.

A view from inside the sauna-trailer. The Atlantic Ocean can be seen outside the window.

A view of the walkway from the trailer into the ocean. After heating up in the sauna we’d run into the waves. It was about 30F outside!

Still in Post-Valentine recovery mode, but wanted to share some pics of how @fourbudsfloral.com spent our Monday off… 💕😶‍🌫️🌊

Two empty tea-packets are side by side. The left, in purple, reads “Immune + Stress”. The right, in blue, reads “Bedtime”.

The story of my evening after a 12 hour day in the flower shop, as told by tea bags…

SENIOR PET

Poor quality roses in a bucket with a label that says “poopy” 💩

“What do you do when bad product comes into the shop?”
“We shame it.”

Abe Simpson: I’LL BE DEEP IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND BEFORE I RECOGNIZE the gulf of america

The eyes and ears of Tina the cat can be seen peering over a fleece blanket as she stalks Nicky, who is happily eating some jerky off camera.

Why, yes Tina—as a matter of fact, I *am* eating some jerky.

Current debate in the shop rn: would Jesus be ace?
My vote is yes but no one is agreeing.

A very busted up Scrub Daddy Sponge smiles miserably in front of a bucket of orange tulips as they hydrate.

Happy Monday Before Valentine’s Day from @fourbudsfloral.com

Pausing my binge-watch of old episodes of Poirot in order to watch KDot be a world class hater is probably the closest I’ve come to an act of patriotism in a while.
Also, wtf is even that sentence

Tina the cat sits on the bathroom floor looking pensively toward Nicky, who is sitting in the bathtub. The room is dark with low purple lighting bc “vibes”.

Another evening of Tina wondering why I voluntarily choose to soak in The Giant Water Dish…

A large bottle of ibuprofen sits open next to a can of seltzer water.

Welcome to Valentine’s Day at the flower shop!

Black and white photo of a large tv set in the corner of a living room, but in front of it is a shorthaired white and tabby cat poking out of a black leather purse.

Why watch tv when you can watch a kitten in a purse? Photo from my collection, no date/info.

“Ok, hear me out—Imma get a pair of wings and, like, a diaper or something… and I can hang outside the shop next week and direct our pick-up traffic!”
— Me, discussing Valentine’s Day plans for the flower shop 💘💀💘

However, I have to admit that one of my favorite things about this holiday is that moment when some entitled douche-bro comes sauntering into my gay ass commie co-op flower shop at 5:59pm on a Friday Valentine’s Day expecting a dozen roses and we just… laugh…. and laugh….

Hi, it’s me… you’re friendly neighborhood flower shop co-owner, and this is my public service announcement to remind you to order your Valentine’s flowers NOW.
Not tomorrow… not Monday. Definitely not next Friday.
Now.
For the love of god, please.

Sometimes it’s good to be wrong. I’m happy to see that yesterday’s protests were not, in fact, a honeypot operation meant as an excuse to provoke the government into inciting martial law.
But I really, really hate living in timeline where that’s a perfectly reasonable fear.